Ryan,

I’m sorry I wasn’t the perfect woman. I’m sorry that I wasn’t in the military like your ‘girlfriends’ were. I’m sorry that I supported you as you took your first steps into the military. I’m sorry that I wrote you a letter everyday. I’m sorry that I supported you and stayed faithful. I’m sorry that when you went off to tech that I set care packages and never asked you to take time away from your friends to Skype me. I’m sorry that I agreed to marry you. I’m sorry that I agreed to have your kids. I’m sorry that I got pregnant, most importantly I’m sorry I had a miscarriage. I’m sorry that you couldn’t see what was worth fighting for and all that I asked for in return was my best friend to promise what he promised from the very beginning to take on the world together.

I’m sorry that the mixed signals you gave off and the persistence you once admired so much made you hate me and drive you insane. I’m sorry I ruined your life and your mood for the past few months. I’m sorry I tried being a friend and I’m sorry I tolerated you abusing me verbally. I’m sorry that through this the entirety of this dramatic event I lost who I was. The girl, the woman who stands up for what she believes in who loves, laughs, smiles constantly. I’m sorry that while I was busy being there for you I lost myself. I’m sorry that you couldn’t see that when you left on that plane for BMT and I promised to stand by any hardships and remain faithful and strong that you didn’t believe me.

I’m sorry that you let me go…and that I’m finally accepting that it’s time for me to let go as well. I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused I’ve been no angel but I sure would’ve tried to be that bright light in your life. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more and that I can’t handle this emotional roller-coaster anymore. Most of all I’m sorry that we lost a love that comes once in a blue moon. I’m sorry that the only place left for each other is in our hearts and memories… I wish you the best.