I remember sitting there every night, wishing things would get better with us… Wishing we still Had what we first had… Knowing I still loved you Knowing I would always be there for you… Thinking we had all the time in the world… But it was cut short… The life we had together all the sudden ended… Everything I thought was true was not… I lost my self in that moment.. I felt like A terrible person…. Everything I once imagined in my head of our life together all the sudden ended and would never be again. I knew that we weren’t going to last in that place and time but I thought that, that was only in that moment of time… I never thought I’d lose you forever.
The thing that hurt the most is how much I loved you and how much I wanted to keep you…. And you were so easy to replace me and walk away from everything….. I never expected you to take care of what you thought was yours but I did think you had enough love there to keep some relation.
It’s soo hard to think how much I still feel for what we had and what we were… When you seem to not care at all…
You were the first guy I gave my whole self to the first guy I can honestly say I loved, my first true best friend… I think about moments of our life together every single day, it still hurts… I think it always will.
I still haven’t looked at my video camera because everything in there is of us and our life.. It sits stored away in the back of my closet, I can’t even look at it without crying and knowing what’s in there.,.. I miss you… I miss us… I miss your family… I miss our family…
I have to try holding myself together everyday.. But every new month is hard, thinking its another month that I’ve been without you and it been over…
I loved seeing you the other night… It was the first time in four months that we had…’and I still felt the same… I had thought I was moving on a little but my heart was still in the same spot… Unfortunately yours was not…. I enjoyed what we had shared that night and wish we can/could do it again.
I will never feel for anyone like the way I did you… No one will ever compare to you… No relationship will be has close as the one we shared… It is irreplaceable.!
We both hurt each other soo much and I wish I could start over and redo my steps and change all the immature, thoughtless things I did… But I’m just killin myself thinking about it cause I can’t ever change it….
I just wish I had meant more to you to be able to have you not let me go regardless of what you had discovered… I wish I was worth and he was worth staying with.
I just hope I have one more chance with you.. If not in this life then in another… I will never make the same mistake twice…
In such a little amount of time I’ve grown soo much and it’s embarrassing to think of how we acted towards each other… But yet had Sooo much love there.
I love you Alberto and I will always be here when you want to be with me no matter what I’m in or what I’m doing…. You’ll always be my 1st choice in my heart.!
Good luck with your life Nd I hope your happy.