Back then,

you were a dog and I was your fox that believed it was a bear.

You told me little stories and adventures with the fox and dog to help me sleep and ease the insomnia.

You’d spend the whole night talking to me despite the time difference and the demand of your studies.

We’d sleep with skype open just to replicate sleeping next to each other.

You would never fight with me, you’d accept all my flaws.

You had it all planned. You said everything would be fine, you’d promise me the world, the stars, the sky.

All of this after and before you broke me.

Anxiety, Schizophrenia, Insecurity, Depression and Insomnia.

You cheated on me once.

I’m sorry I thought it was my fault.

You cheated on me again

Sorry I wasn’t good enough

Again

I should’ve done better

Again

I’ll be a better person I promise
Wait.
I spoke badly of you in a joking yet serious way.

I bossed you around and pushed you away.

I yelled and fought and left.

I was sarcastic, belittling and rude.

I led you on and lied and I’m not sorry and I never was.

You’ve scarred me and I could rip you apart cell from cell from your arrogant face to your pity and yet I wouldn’t be satisfied and we would still never be equal.

I don’t regret not leaving you in the start if I never tried If it wasn’t for our fights I would never have had the experiences of rebelling against you.

Thanks for leading me to someone who has actually made an effort to fix what has happened no judgement.

Someone to challenge me, to fight with and to know me past the lies.

It took a lot of digging to get past all your dirt to lead me to this diamond.

Thanks for memories, you can keep them.

xx.