Paul,

I’m so sorry.

I’m so sorry that you ever walked into my life. I’m so sorry that I ever loved you. I’m so sorry that I gave you a year and a half of my life. I’m so sorry that right now I wish you were dead.

Thank you for putting me in such a great situation. For pursuing me at work, for making me fall for your charm and your success. Thank you for keeping me a secret from everyone else at the office for our entire relationship. Thank you for making me feel like you loved me, when quite clearly you didn’t. Thank you for breaking my heart so that you could go and be with another employee who is 10 years younger than you. Thank you for showing me who you really are.

I hope you get the clap.