Wish it was as easy as you make it seem

Wish it was as easy as you make it seem

Wish it was as easy as you make it seem

Lee, so we weren’t together for an extended amount of time, but it didn’t take long to start caring tremendously for you. You wanted me to give up the other men in my life that were just friends, so I did. You said that they were causing distrust.

You decided to make yourself a mainstay in my life and would drive an hour to see me at my house. We talked about my plans and what I desired and you said that your wanted to be a part of that. I came to your basketball games in and out of town, and you seemed happy to have me there.

When I noticed changes in you and asked you about your behavior, you told me I was insecure, that I shouldn’t worry about those things. One of the worst things was that you allowed me to celebrate your birthday with you to have it all go to hell less than two weeks later. You asked me what I where I saw this going, my reply was towards building a family. You said that you could do that.

You became distant and deliberately mean to me, then told me that we were done, that if you were horny or bored, you would just call me. That you knew a long time ago that I wasn’t what you wanted. Later to tell me via text that you got your ex-girlfriend pregnant and that you two were going to work it out. I may be selfish in all of this, but what about me. You said that you slept with her once and she got pregnant, but why not leave me then when you desired to be with someone else. Why then add insult to injury and tell me that you wanted me to have an abortion. I am stranger to you, that you didn’t tell anyone about me. You have NO idea what I went through physically and you didn’t even care. After finding out about my situation, you then told me that I was too big for you anyways, that I was too tall for you.

You recently reached out to say Happy Birthday to me as if everything was ok. Then text me and say that we can be friends without even an apology for all of the hateful shit you say. You request me on fb and I added you. Of course every status is about God and that makes it even worse that you can deliberately hurt somebody so much and feel no remorse.

I am not completely innocent in all of this because I should have paid attention to the signs long ago. To the phone ringing constantly in the middle of the night. You not responding like you should have to your player asking to share me, and the list goes on.

I should be so angry at you that I cant possibly miss you but I do. I hope that reminding myself of the hurt you caused can help me get there. By attacking me physically, you made me feel worthless. And I am constantly trying to improve myself bc of what you said. WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT, that I would base my value on what you think of me! There was nothing exceptional about you when we met, but I began to love your flaws and all of the stuff that came with being around you.

I don’t wish bad on you at all, but I want someone to make you feel like you have made me feel one day.

 

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