I want to say something nice. I can’t anymore for there isn’t one thing that I could say about you. I had so many great memories until you shattered them all by all the horrible things you did. To think you know someone & then to see who they truly are is something I never come across before or heard of as all the people I know have a heart. For me to say this is no easy feat for I do not like speaking ill of people in general as I’ve always been a positive person. That’s until I met you. I was so in love for what I perceived to be your heritage & what it entailed. I see that now, as that was nothing short of an illusion you portrayed, remarkably actually.
If only I say professional help sooner as I was becoming someone I didn’t know anymore. When told & shown who you were by more than one of them, three in fact for I didn’t believe or want to believe I should say & considering they are had PHD’s in their profession’s it hurt me so much. The sad thing is I still loved you as that is what a person with a “Narcissistic Personality Disorder”. They are one step short of a psychopath, or in their case they were a sociaopath which is just as bad. The worst thing is they don’t even know or realise they are one for that is part of their personality & agenda. It was the worst & scariest relationship which I wouldn’t even call it that as once they have their claws in you.
Your then the object when they want you as it is always about them, never about you as you mean nothing to them as you are a tool or plaything for them that they always break over time. They slowly destroy every moral fibre that is you & you won’t know why, what is gong on, what have or am I doing wrong, people around you will say “hey your not the happy same you anymore, are you alright” & you will say it’s me ATM I;m going through a rough patch which is my fault which it is only for allowing yourself to be under their spell. I was lucky that I was able to get away from them as many who don’t are so damaged they are never the same. I’m definitely not the same & have been scarred. Even after you have gone they will still & do manage to sink their claws into you. They set out to destroy you once you have escaped their lair which is their world.
The worst part for me is as there are five types of this disorder, they had to be the one that was the seductive sexual type who was so mind blowing that it was like a drug. I was so addicted that all I wanted was more which they strung me along like leading a horse to water. I have never been so used & felt so violated when I found this out.
People should read up on these types of dangerous people because once you understand & realise what the warnings are you will see through their sick, evil twisted game. There is no hope for you but to turn & as fast as you can for if they catch you, they will trick your mind into being their pet toy. They will have more than one of you when they tire of you. They didn’t tire of me for I was more than their match sexually much to my dismay for then I would have been discarded so much sooner. I am closed to the other sex now as I have been so damaged by what I inadvertently let happen to me. One day I hope to be whole again as love is what we are about in this world, from family, to friendships, work, holidays, adventures & to partners. When you have lost your happiness you are not alive but a zombie who pines to be alive once more.
I thought this stuff only happened in movies as I would have never put my hand up to play the lead role if I knew this was the outcome. So many tablets everyday. So much rebuilding of myself. You will never comprehend or completey understand the gravity of the situation until it happens to you which I hope no one ever has to experience this. I can’t wait for the day my heart starts beating once more to life itself. I pray everyday it’ll get better. I was once a strong, happy, outgoing, successful person…And now I roam here & there looking for my missing heart. Has anyone seen it. They have most likely got it for I can feel their call.
God I miss them. What is wrong with me.
One more victim of a Narcissist. Whoops my eye fell out, I must be going blind to not see the truth.