I wish I said I loved you more too, because I really do love you. You like to say it more than me. It’s a word I like to use when I’m with you and I get that butterfly feeling, or when I can’t help but say it. Sometimes when we were laying together I’d look at you and I’d want to say it so much because I was so happy in that moment. Sometimes I’d wind you up by not saying it after you. You’re just like me, sarcastic and fun but I guess you feel things and take them hard sometimes.
If I never hear from you again… well don’t worry about me. In my mind we ended in April not August. I always listen to the Blade Runner soundtrack and it helps me sleep. When I sleep at night you are there with me, in your bed in your old house. Your hair brushed up to my face. Staring into your eyes watching your little smile, seeing how happy you are. With the sound of Tears in the Rain playing. That’s the moment I want to remember. Because it won’t matter that I won’t get to be in that moment ever again. I have this memory forever.
I wish he did say it often to me too…. it would mean a lot to me 😔 I miss him so much still…