Dear Noah,

It’s been 41 days since you ended things. I’ve been thinking about it lately. At first I didn’t understand why you felt you needed to “vent” about how controlling I was. I really wasn’t controlling. If anyone was, it was your stupid ass mom. Why did you feel like you needed to tell people that don’t even know me all these things about me? I was confused. But then I figured it out. You weren’t justifying it to them, you were trying to justify it to yourself.

When I came to talk to you and you broke up with me, you couldn’t even look me in the eyes and tell me with a straight face that you really wanted to break up. Even two weeks later when I took you your stuff, you couldn’t look at me. You couldn’t even answer a simple question like how long you had been unhappy. Instead you slammed the door in my face.

As much as you claim otherwise, I know it was because your family convinced you that I was no good for you. You think that they are so great. Well guess what? They don’t love you as much as you think they do. They care about your mom. They don’t want you to be happy because then your mom would lose her free babysitter. You better hope that you die before they do. If not, once they die you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone. No other girl is going to stay as long as I did if they get treated the way I did by you and your family. No girl wants someone who is more emotional than they are.

Remember when I wasn’t there for you once and you won’t let it go? Yeah. But you seem to forget about all the times I was there. Like remember all the times you called me at like 4:30 a.m. because you had a bad dream and couldn’t get back to sleep? Or when you got kicked out for no reason, and my family offered you a place to stay, but instead you went with your grandpa who proceeded to treat you like shit? Or what about all of those times you were sick and I came over to your house to bring you stuff. Or like when I made you emotionally okay? You forget that when I found you, you were broken. You were ruined by the monster that raised you and the results of her shitty decisions. You forget that you were heartbroken because your ex started dating your best friend. You forget that if I hadn’t been there for the last year and a half, you would still be at that place. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be okay.

Please tell me again how great your family is. Remember that time that your mom wouldn’t buy you crutches and just told you to hop on one foot, and still made you take care of her kids? Or the time that your water got shut off because she didn’t pay the bill. And so instead of going to make a payment on the bill, she went out with her friends and drank? So instead of getting to take a hot shower, you had jugs of water that you had to use for everything for three days until she got paid. Or the time, this one is my favorite one, the time you were at home with your brother and sister while she got arrested for drinking! Mother of the year right there. And your grandparents, all they do is make excuses for her and criticize you on every single thing you do. But okay. I guess I’m the bad guy.

Hopefully you realize that you wouldn’t have half of what you do if it weren’t for me. I’ll be waiting with open arms for when you do and we can talk about getting back together. In the mean time, enjoy being alone with them. I still love you. You can come back any time now.

Love,

Grace Hannah