So I saw a guest speaker in class today and it made me think a lot about past things etc. and I started to realize that I need to talk to you whether you like it or not to tell you some things.
One, I hope you are happy, I just wish you would have found it sooner. I wish that you would have ended things sooner with me so that you could be with her and I would have never had to deal with her attacking me over and over again for two years. I also wish that you would have ended things sooner so that I wouldn’t have put so much effort into something for someone that wanted someone else the whole time, but ultimately I hope you figured out what you wanted now and are happy. I wasn’t fulfilling something that you need her to, so I hope you figured that out.
Two, although I hope you are happy I hope you know how much hurt you caused me these past couple months. Your family still contacts me periodically which I love but also makes it hard for me. You moved on within a month, which is insane to me. It actually makes me find both of you quite pathetic, but thats another story I guess, and your relationship I won’t understand nor is it any of my business. It proves that you never ended things while you were with me, and you broke me. Now that I basically know you cheated on me the night of my mom’s brain surgery, and that you spoke to her behind me back I have questioned so many things in our relationship. I look back and stopped blaming myself and realize I was in fact dating you- and you did not treat me right. I never once talked to another person while dating you, because otherwise I would have broken up with you in the first place. I am done blaming myself, and ready to realize that this is your fault. I am hurt that you never once tried to even see how I was doing. It shows how much you really truly did not mean anything you said towards the end, or during our relationship.
Third, I want to say thank you. Thanks for showing me the true person you truly are. Although we were together for two years, and now I feel as if I didn’t actually know you, I’m happy I do now. I’m happy that I figured all this out before I came to Australia, because we would not have lasted while I was here if you were having these feelings towards someone else, and it helped me realize I deserve better. I have been able to do things I have never even dreamed of here and meet people that I probably would have held myself back with if I was in a relationship with you.
Fourth, I am still extremely angry at you, and you owe me a huge apology. You literally threw two years down the drain, and to not just anyone. If you don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt then I feel bad for you, because you’re not even close to the person I thought you might have been. This is not a letter to make you feel guilty. This is a letter for you to realize everything you’ve done to me. I can ignore you all I want, but I feel as if you deserve this. You scooped so low, and when I found out it literally made me sick. But one thing I’ve learned while being here is that grudges don’t hurt anyone but yourself. Although you do not deserve my forgiveness, I want to forgive you and I want to forget you.