Hey T,
its being a while I heard from you and wonder how you are. its like a hard and long wedge has been driven between us over which neither of us can climb over.
I wonder why I am writing this letter. I probably would not send it and you would never come aross it. One thing I do know is that I do this for me, my need for closure and letting you go has become imperative.
I remember the first day I set eyes on you, you were reading a book and I never thought in my imaginative mind that things would happen the way they did or that I would ever fall in love with you.
You came into my life at a point when I had lost hope that good men still exist and was going through so much hurt. You treated me in a gentle and kind manner, always patient with me and respected my decisions even when they do not make sense sometimes. You showed me the kind of care I can only see in gems and brought back the light into my eyes. You showed me what it is to feel and love again.
Things started going awry when ‘friend’ and ‘bestie’ came into the picturr and I felt you withdrawing away after that incident. I was no fool to notice that you kinda put a halt to things even when I asked what was going on. You were holding my hands and leading me to our secret destination but suddenly I looked up and you were gone leaving me at mid point and unto your dreams. It felt like I was dreaming a bad dream which I could not wake up from.
Initially, I could not fathom why this happened or why you left without an explanation, thus I thought it best to sit and wait. Alas the master teacher time has shown me it does not wait for no one and I was chasing shadows.
I miss our conversations, the late night chats, the movie cds you used to send to me, the getaway we never got to do, the random messages you send during the day that makes me smile, your sometimes honesty, the rescuing (my hero & knight in shining armour), the times spent at your balcony looking over the waters and discussing our future and dreams.
The time has come for me to let you go. I do not regret meeting you and I pray I meet someone to love and be loved in return. Someone to share my life with. You have taught me not to settle for less as there is still a world of opportunities out there. I wish you the best things in life and pray you get to find true happiness in your endeavours.
1 Comment
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Dear EO,
My initial begins with T and I do have an ex with the initials EO…but somehow my heart is telling me you are R. I am healing from so much this year and I know you have. You are strong, like a knight in shining armor. When I needed someone to talk to, you were there. When I was hurting deeply, you wiped away my tears and showed me what it was like to love, not only you, but God and myself.
In a couple of weeks, it’ll be a year since we met in class. I remember when we first met, how I fell headlong into love with your work and your way with words. Loving a writer is like loving someone that peers into your very being and knows the innermost depths of your soul. I don’t know if you regret meeting me, but I don’t. Meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me. You opened up the door to my heart and I learned to love again. R., I’m still sorry I hurt you and know you have forgiven me. I told you that you could never decondition my feelings for you. You have not, but I have. Except my feelings for you is a mature, deep, warm feeling. It is not passionate, but is of admiration and respect. For a long time I was not able to write, but now I can. It’s like you were guiding and teaching me, helping me in so many ways, I could never thank you enough. I will always ardently admire you, Mr. Psychologist and am grateful you came in my life. You are a wonderful man and the woman that marries you is fortunate to have such a perceptive and insightful person. You have brought closure on my pain in the past of my lost loves. You have helped to shape my core values and I am a better person for having you in my life, even if it were brief, a season. I believe there was a reason God brought you into my life.
Love,
T
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