Breaking the rules

Breaking the rules

Breaking the rules

Yes, this is how long I could go without saying something. Being a girl I cannot help but go over the things you said to me over and over and trying to figure out if you’re an idiot or if you just don’t love me enough. Of course I know you’re an intelligent man, otherwise I wouldn’t have been interested in you in the first place. I suppose what I’m trying to say here is that as far as I’m concerned the only valid reason for breaking up would be if you thought you’d be happier without me. Is this the case? If it is I’d rather have you tell me straight than mask it behind some bullshit about not being able to be the man I want.

I want you! Just the way you are with all your fears, doubts and immaturity, and without any hopes of a domestic future together. You are right, this is what I want in the long run but I was never going to pressure you into this! I have honestly always thought you were a better judge than me on these kinds of things (except for introductions to parents) and was always going to wait for you to be the initiator of all kinds of progression in our relationship beyond confirming that we in deed were in one. I think it is a horrible thing to throw away what we have now if it is only to protect me from future pain. Couldn’t you just have explained how you needed some space to sort your life out in stead of severing our bonds so abruptly? I’m so scared of saying something now that will ruin every chance of fixing this later. At the same time I’m starting to see how horrible it will be to wait out three months only to have you reserve your rights to see where we’re at or even worse: getting back together and having this horrible thing between us. I feel like you betrayed my trust by not giving me a chance to change your mind and I’m not sure this is something that will ever go away. That is why I’m asking you now to make it crystal clear. If it’s what you really want I need you to stomp on my heart so I can move on.

With so much love


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