S.,
I don’t know what to say or even feel about you. I know I miss you deeply, you and that little dog of yours, and I would love to take you back if you ever gave it another chance. I hurt all the time, am prone to losing my shit at any moment, and I feel so alone. I don’t understand why you just decided to throw me away. All you had to do was try a bit harder to include me in your life and things would have worked out for both of us. I did nothing to deserve such treatment. I did not beat you, I did not tell you that you were worthless, I did not hold back anything from you. You had my whole being and decided to throw it away. Why? I treated you like a queen. I did everything in my power to help when I could and when I needed help from you, you turned and ran away like a child.
Your decision will come to haunt you. When they are done with you, they will toss you aside. I would never to that to you. You were scared because no one ever treated you as good as I did.
But i’m conflicted. I alternate between wishing you would take me back and being so angry that I want to see you in pain. I have said and thought the most vile things while I am alone in the car or at home. I know I do these things because I am hurt. I just want to love you again.
4 Comments
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Dang that was very deep and heart touching….. beautiful letter.. Thankz for sharing
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wow! i cannot believe what i just read!! this is the EXACT same letter i could have send one year ago. i truly wanted to see her hurting and in pain. i wanted her to know exactly what she did to me and how it hurt so much. i wanted to run down the street screaming “OMG!!! anybody! this is what she did to me!!”
your pain is clearly evident. it’s so easy to see and feel. all i can tell you is this: she will miss being treated like a queen. she knows what she did to you. the next one will treat her a notch below what she expects. she won’t forget all of the good things you did for her.
i don’t know if you ever run into her or have contact, but this is what i did and it worked so divinely. i acted as if i was completely over it. i was cool – not unfriendly, but cool. i acknowledged her friends and even told her girlfriends that they “look great…yup…evreything is going great in my life” and show that your life is moving on. i did all of this and it was killing me inside. i wanted to plead and cry to her….tell her i’d do anything to get her back. it was all just beneath the surface waiting for any kind of a pin to burst that bubble and have all of it come spilling out. but i didn’t let that happen….she made contact with me a few months ago. i’ll let her do any and all initiation. i know by what she wrote that i’ve been on her mind.hang in there. nothing (pain) lasts forever. you can’t believe this right now, but you will get past it. maybe not over it….but past it. there will be a day when it won’t run your life. there’s a day in the future when you will wake up one morning and she won’t be the very first thing on your mind. it’s coming.
i truly DO feel your pain. god! do i ever!-
All I will add is that TIm and S. – you took the words right out of my mouth…. Mine left me for a sugar daddy who has very dubious reputation… be as angry as you want my friend… my experience is that she may already regret it… I know mine does…
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“i acted as if i was completely over it. i was cool – not unfriendly, but cool. i acknowledged her friends and even told her girlfriends that they “look great…yup…evreything is going great in my life” and show that your life is moving on. i did all of this and it was killing me inside”.
God Tim! that must have taken some real guts! I don’t know if I could have done that! Right now I want to kill both of them, but quite impossible to do. Will post my story later. Hope you are feeling better….
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