Wow, it’s been a story girl filled with everything including border line miracles and in the good times, well they were epic. I think we both know there is lot here. I know when we were both healthy and our relationship was filled with more than just love, we dreamt about a love story that might have gone down as the greatest love stories of all time. I know at times the future was so realistic that even the smells of the grass in our very own front yard, the noises of our kids playing, and the visions of the places we would see together were as real as they ever could be.

I have been hurt by you too many times and I think I knew probably the first time, this was not a relationship that would ever work because relationships can not just live on Love, but it has taken multiple attempts and repeated chances to finally be OK with walking away forever.

“We are taught that whatever it will take love will conquer all and there should not be a “break up” until we fall out of love, but the truth is once we love someone, we will love them forever. People fall out of trust, intimacy, and respect – not love.” Mentally there is something that happens to us. We assign accuses to peoples behavior justifying there actions, actions against us and when we do that, we bury the reality of ever having a successful relationship with this person. When I was going through my divorce I felt that if the relationship ended, then we have failed but the truth is “failure is overstaying in a toxic relationship”. When it came down to the final moments before I sent you that message ending it with you, it did not come easy. After I evaluated the authenticity of a real relationship next to ours based on respect, trust, truth, friendship, intimacy, and unconditional love, obviously a few stood out and I asked myself can the people involved change. In my belief changing only can come from within and usually that happens after all is lost, these changes are similar to recovery from a drug or alcohol addiction. What you showed me that weekend was how easy it was for you to trade a few moments of bliss for an eternity of agony and heartache.

I cannot say what happened that weekend was a complete surprise, after all when I look back on almost our entire relationship it has been the same story different person throughout. The thought of someone changing can be so challenging, so exciting, so amazing and it can keep us coming back for the rest of our lives. As many people are aware deep down, life is precious and it can be here one day and gone the next, yet so many people get caught in these webs and waste there entire precious lives. I knew a long time ago as many blessings our relationship received it would truly take a miracle for it to have ever worked out. I do believe in miracles and I love hope but I now know what I have to do when it comes to you and I. I am closing not just this chapter as we have done so many times in our past, I am closing this book.

The return address above is my address but unfortunately I cannot receive mail here as the people I have rented from have put a hold on their mail so this will be a one way letter. I have also taken precautions with my phone, emails, and social media avenues and asked my friends to encourage me down this road to recovery and healing. As much as I am sure one moment, I might question the next and I know the reality is I am going to miss you very very much. I know I will heal and move on and find the love that reciprocates who I am, the way I feel, and the love I have to offer.

Thank you for being a part of my life

Love Always