Emil,

I wish that I could look at your face and not feel sick to my stomach. (You look beautiful by the way)I wish I could look at you and smile and say “I moved on” But I can’t.I don’t know why, I never had this happen to me- I want to scream and cry and just say: Why? Why did this have to end, but in my heart I know it had to. I’m sorry but your actions were too unemotional and distant, and I was to scream at the unfairness at all. I miss your scent. Your laughs. Our walks to together in the park. I miss you. I thought you were going to be the love of my life. (but I can’t cope with the fact that you arent) I see you with other people and crumble at the fact that you can move on so damn eaisly. You don’t understand my dear, you were my entire book of my life, and I was just a chapter of yours.

I hope your happy..but part of me wants you too miss me and beg me to come back in your arms because god dammit part of me want too. And I can’t. because. i know its not good for me.

You’re posin too my life, my mind, and my soul. You made me rot from the inside out and it was so addicting I couldn’t get enough it of it and part of me wanted to stop- part of me didn’t. you were my herion. you were my cocaine. My  kiss of death, and never ending regret.

I wish I told you, i’m sorry. I’m sorry for ending this, but i’m sorry for you that I wasn’t even worth fighting for. Wasn’t I worth something? Why did you let me go.Why.

why wasnt i enough for you?

Thank you for letting me experience the truest of loves, thank you letting me fall asleep in your arms and expirence to truest passion and pain there is.

it is a experience i will never forget- and i can only hope you will never forget me too.

Emil.

I love what you made me experience.

I hate you.

I hate you for letting me go.

I hate myself for letting you go.

d r o w n i n g  in the waters of regret. its time to move on.