I’m writing this because I simply want the best for you and want to see you happy. I know the path you are on is a destructive one because I was on that very same path. Angry, lonely (I have family and friends but still felt alone), and disgusted where my life was and was going. I so badly wanted to change everything but just couldn’t find the strength or will power to make it happen.

I had been told I needed help but refused to believe it until I finally looked around and realized my life and emotions were starting to spin out of control and I was beginning to make bad choices that were affecting my life in a very negative way. One night I was with my child at a Phillies game. I drank (not really that much) and was driving home when I realized that this was not how I wanted be as a human being AND a parent. I finally made the choice to get professional help and begin the road to emotion healing and started seeing a therapist. Although seeing a psychologist was helping me understand the cause of my behavior, it wasn’t helping the emotional pain of the loss of someone I cared for very deeply.

I still felt lost even though I had this better understanding of my situation. Then one day I was fortunate enough to make a friend from a somewhat chance meeting and she said you must look at everyone through God’s eyes with love and compassion. This had a big impression on me. I decided that I was going to take the next step and go to church and see if that would help. I attended my first service alone; in a church I had never been to and instantly felt at peace. I sat there and read the bible while I waited for services and afterwards walked away with a feeling that the reason I felt so alone was because I lost my connection with spirituality.

As I was leaving the services I came across a pamphlet for a recovery group, not just for alcoholics but for people that were suffering emotionally and wanted to change their lives and be happy again. I attended my first meeting and was instantly greeted with kindness and compassion. It was a relief to be able to express myself openly and not be judged but rather be supported regarding my anger, emotional pain and turmoil. I realize now that every day is a challenge to avoid my bad habits, to love myself, to love and pray for those that hate me, and to stay on the path of being a better and happier person. I want you to know that I have started to pray for you ever since the first day I went to church and will continue to pray that you will find the strength to change the things in your life that are destructive and keeping you from the happiness and peace you justly deserve.

You are a wonderful and beautiful person deep inside; I have seen your heart and know it is filled with a beautiful and radiant love that you want desperately to share. I have found that sharing it spiritually first is the basic foundation of loving yourself and others. I will end with this thought; it wasn’t until I removed myself from the destructive habits causing my pain that I was finally able to start walking forward on the path to becoming a better person. I know you are smart enough to realize your habits (and probably anger) are not helping in your search for happiness, the question is “Do you have the strength and will power to make the changes that are needed to achieve the happiness you desire”?

Someone that cares!!!