You were my best friend. I know we were never technically in a relationship, so technically you aren’t my ex. But I’ve still lost you, I think. We loved each other as friends do, but then we got stupid. We thought everything could be the same but with the added benefit of kisses and groping and quick car sex. And for a little while, it was okay. Our love and our touches never clashed.

But then we made the mistake of holding hands. That’s where we went wrong. Because in that instant when I reached out and you held on, lust and love intertwined and both weakened.

So we ended it to save our friendship, we swore never to speak of it again, we promised to let things go back to normal.

But it’s not normal. It’s horrible. It’s shitty and fucked up and wrong. We don’t talk anymore. I can’t go to you anymore. You’ve been an asshole to me and I’ve been passive agressive towards you.

And now you’ve got a girlfriend and I’ve got a crush on your friend. And all I want is to talk to you about it: to exchange advice and be there for each other and make stupid jokes and just hang out like we used to.

But that’s all gone because we were both horny and lonely and stupid.

This fucking sucks.