Dear TJ,

I can’t sleep tonight. Thoughts of you fill my mind almost constantly. That’s why I need to type this.. To get my feelings out, so I can sleep. TJ, I honestly never knew I could have so much love for a person until I met you. Literally everything about you, I love. Okay, minus your smoking and flirting. I understand why you flirt though. Yorich helped me to see how he sees it, and it’s changed my whole perspective. It’s the little things that get me though.

The way you’d always open my door for me. Definitely the way you treat your mom, even if you’re beyond annoyed. The way you listen without a complaint of your own. Or just the super simple things, like the way you get awful nosebleeds, or the way you leave bowls in your room for months. The way you watch your BBC America and how you strive to be different. You claim to not give a damn about what people think, but inside, I know you secretly do.

Have you ever honestly felt loved? Maybe that’s why you’ve given up on people so much. You wanted nothing but to be loved and they spat in your face. So now you’re angry at the world. Maybe at yourself. You’re just super lost right now. I met this guy on my mission trip, and he told me this,”Looking for someone to love you and complete you are two different things”. I must admit, I never saw it that way before. I don’t know if you’re trying to be complete, but I do know you’re hurting for love. I can tell in everything you post. Obvies I’m still stalking you, I mean let’s be real here…

You may not talk to me hardly at all, but I swear each day, my love for you burns more. With every passing day, I ask God to give you back to me, to watch over you, and I thank him for letting me know you. I will wait forever, if at the end of forever I get to have you again. I’m in love with you so much it hurts. Maybe I have gone a lil crazy, but that’s what love does to a person. You stop at nothing to have them. You’re crazy for them. Everything they do matters to you. Even when you’re not with them..

You think about all the little things that make them, them. Their breathing, heartbeat, walk, all the little veins in their hands poking up,  the flutter of their eyelids when they’re sleepy, their warm body next to yours.. You’re an amazing man, TJ. I’m so thankful for the time you gave me. I never expected to fall so deeply in love with you, but I can assure you, I have. You’re everywhere I look. In the gusts of wind, the ocean waves, the morning dew, the singing birds, and in every breath I take. People who can’t find beauty in those things surely haven’t met you. You give them a whole new meaning. Hell, you give life a new meaning. I understand you no longer want to be together, but I’m going to wait for you until I can no longer breathe. For you’re in every breath I breathe.