Eleven months. Eleven months we were together, and to the short 17 years of my life it’s a very long time. I’m sure when I say those were the best months I’ve ever had. I don’t know what I’ll do, I miss you so much. It’s been just a few days and I don’t think I’m healing, every time I think I’m better I fall down again. We’ve talked twice since you dumped me, and I can’t stand the difference in the way we treat each other. What makes me even sadder is the fact that you didn’t break up with me because you didn’t like me, or because we weren’t working. And although you told me you couldn’t go on being with someone, you said you were in love with me, and that even though you’re just 18 you were sure you are never going to feel this way with anybody else. There’s so many things I don’t understand. Aren’t you supposed be accompanied when you’re not feeling okay? Why is it that you shut me out? You say you don’t want to get me inside your hole, your darkness. The truth is, i don’t care. I want you close. I want to be your company, your shoulder. I want to listen to you, and help you if you need help.

Nobody’s ever made me feel so special, and I want to keep receiving those things you said to me. I want your touch, I want your kisses, I want your laugh and I want your jokes. I want you. I need you.  I can’t move on. I’m not interested in anyone. Actually, in nothing. I just want you to get better, to heal your sadness, see you smile again. You say you just want me to be happy, but I can’t. I can’t be happy without you. Where will I find someone that is so good and caring? I really think that nowhere.

The worst part is, I’m totally depending on you for this. I can’t talk to you because I feel pathetic, and only if you want to get back together we will. Everything is up to you. The day you broke it all off, you told me how sorry you were because of hurting me this way. Because you promised you were never going to hurt me. But you don’t have to be sorry, because I know you aren’t doing this to hurt me. I’m trying to be patient and see what happens from now on.  I need you, desperately. Please get well and think it over. I love you, and always will.