I wish you were still here

I wish you were still here

I wish you were still here

Hi. I know it’s been 3 months since our breakup. And if you wouldn’t have broken up with me, our relationship would have lasted for 8 months now. And still counting actually if you look at it. But it’s not. You broke up with me. You know what? It’s been how many days now. And I still love you. Why is it like that? Hm? I thought we were gonna be okay since we got together again. But when you left me… Fuck. I broke into tears. It’s like I think about you every minute… I know that our breakup was official. But after that, you post so many statuses saying you’re sorry and I felt your sincerity. But it still fucking hurts. IT HURTS LIKE HELL. Besides, what hurt the most is that… you didn’t have any reason. You just… left me. Hanging. Baby, I don’t even what I did for you to treat me like this. Am I not deserving? Don’t I deserve your love?.. I know time will heal but I REALLY NEED YOUR LOVE RIGHT NOW… Where are you anyway? Are you happy with somebody else now? If that’s the case………Psh. I can’t do anything anyway. Fuck.

And when you broke up with me, why is it like we shared nothing together? It’s not like we’re close. It’s not like we loved each other. YOU’RE SO COLD. What will I say? What should be the expression of my face? Won’t I look pitiful? Should I cry and beg for you to come back to me?.. Should I show my weak side?.. I don’t know what to do anymore. Eighty-six days. That’s constant torture for me. What’s the sense of each day if every second, I think of you. It’s like I’m being stitched by a needle in the chest.

April 4, everyone seems to breakup because of third parties. So I panicked. I know you felt my nervousness when I talked to you regarding that. You said: “Baby, don’t worry.”    ” You’re my one and only.”   “I won’t ever replace you.”   ” AND I WILL NEVER EVER LEAVE YOU.”   You promised me, baby… And after 3 days….tch. You left me with no reason. Am I this obsessed with you? For me to hold on to your promises? I could be smiling right now. Ah, no. I could be sleeping soundly right now. But no because fuck. I’M WAITING FOR JULY 02. It’s our eighth month now. Do you know why I’m happy that you said yes (November 02)? Well, it’s because… 02 is also my brother and his girlfriend’s monthsary number. I envy them when they are sweet, that’s why when you said yes… I was filled with joy. Because finally, I could celebrate that special occasion with them. But no.. you broke up with me. In fact, today is their ANNIVERSARY. And I should be happy………….. But I’m not… because of you. Is the reason why you broke up me.. is that I’m too obsessed? Am I clingy? Baby… Don’t you like it when I’m sweet? Don’t you like it when I’m tender?..  DON’T YOU LIKE IT WHEN I LOVE YOU?….I hope you understand why I do those things and appreciate them.

This is not all of it. But I won’t even bother to continue anymore. Because I KNOW… your feelings for me… are gone.


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