I know we were only together a few months but I wish I’d ended it earlier – you never seemed fully invested – even though you would talk about us having a future together. So many mixed signals.
I was happy to wait and travel round the world with you – yes i would love to get married one day but Christ, not yet! I’m annoyed at myself for acting a little insecure in the last few days of our relationship but then there must have been something bugging me to make me ask these things of you.
I only ended it because I sensed you were unhappy (maybe because I’d pushed you away with my insecurities), also I wanted the upper hand. It makes me feel slightly sick to think that you really liked me at one stage and then in those last days, it felt like you didn’t give a rats a***.
In a way I’m also annoyed because I think you deliberately went over to your ‘dark-side’ because you weren’t happy and so you knew this might make end things with you because you didn’t have the guts to do it yourself.
Actually thinking back to a lot of your texts e.g. when you’d say, oh i’m feeling good today, let’s go do this’ it was always about you. I can’t believe i put myself as 2nd best. I allowed you to pull the wool over my eyes.
I’m sad that I never got proper closure but I know that I definitely wouldn’t be able to do that now as you would most likely say the wrong thing. anyway I feel I’ve gotten everything off my chest now. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for me to stop thinking about you with someone else. I hope soon.