I feel like I’ve been here before, but in a way this time is so different. It’s definitive. Final. I admit, I lost sight of our goals, our hopes and dreams. I guess the reason I’m doing this, and the reason I’m so hung up on you is because of all the promises we made, but never kept. I regret all the chances I never took with you. The times I never snuck out, never told you I loved you when you needed to hear it, and most importantly not becoming intimate.
I wish these moments, or lack there of, stopped lingering in my mind, but how can they not. I want to tell you I’m ask ok with this as you are, but we both know I’m not. You have her, whoever she is, whatever you two are. I so desperately want you to never feel this way about someone again, but that is simply not fair. You deserve happiness, but I deserved closure. I hope more than anything in this world that I don’t become a burden upon you. I don’t want to be the one you’re glad you lost, but the one that got away. The worst part is that everyone tells me, “you’ll find your way back if it’s meant to be,” but how will I know? Fate is a big bitch, she’s tricky as hell. Yet, on some level I find comfort in the fact that I don’t know what will happen to you and her in three months, or if you and I will find our way back to one another. I’m only certain of one thing, there is a giant–massive, humongous, huge–gaping hole in my heart that only you have the ability to fill and it aches for you constantly.