I can’t believe that you LIED to me this whole fucking time we were together.

I told you from DAY 1 that HONESTY is one of the most important qualities I need in a man.

Yet, you lied, and CONTINUED to lie.

You need to take a huge fucking look at yourself and why you’ve failed at your last relationships.

I’m GLAD we broke up now. I wouldn’t marry – hell, I wouldn’t date – someone who I knew was a liar.

I thought I knew you, but I guess I didn’t.

I was so heartbroken over you… I idealized you, thought you were one of the sweetest and kindest men I knew, with such great character and integrity… Well, I thought WRONG.

I was pissed that YOU were the one who convinced me to give us a try despite all the odds that were stacked up against us, and that YOU were the one who broke up with me.

I was trying to protect my heart- and then you came along, broke it open, and smashed it to pieces. Kind of like how your last relationship ended, right?

Hey, Michelle [insert T. or A. here], despite the unlikelihood of this ever working out, I’m going to convince you to give us a try!

Michelle A., come move all the way across the country and give up everything to be with me! And don’t you worry, I’ll find another Michelle to replace you with a month after I break up with you!

But shhhh Michelle doesn’t have to know that we lived together, because then she’ll know what we knew all along- a replacement Michelle!

It’s hilarious that you think you’re ready to get married. First of all, at the age of 34, you have the relationship maturity of an 18 year old. You “forget” important dates, lie about them, can’t speak up when you have problems, run away from them, live in a constant state of denial, and of course… LIE FROM THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIP.

Good job, man. Good job.

Have fun trying to find that wifey of yours! You’ll need a LOT of help.