Caoimhe ,

Ive began to write this so many times and everytime I just couldn’t find the words, or I was afraid I would say something wrong but this time im just going to put everything out there, because to be honest… this is killing me . you probably wont ever even see this letter but if you do , well.. enjoy.

You know the feeling you get when you are bloated? Well, how ive been feeling ever since we ended is like that but only in my chest area, I know I have told you this before and I hate saying it because I know it doesn’t make you feel good but it really has messed me up big time.. I just don’t understand how you can stop loving someone , like how is it done ? I don’t understand. I miss so many things. About us . I miss everything.

it sounds so sad because its been so long since we ended and it probably will seem really creepy to you because of the length of time it has been but like I just cant , its been two years now and it still hurts as much as it did at the start, we were so perfect for each its incredible , I could list every single thing I loved about us but it would involve me listing everything about us, all the good times and the bad,

I know im not so great at writing these long meaningful letters as my moms is but I just simply cannot describe the love I have for you . what im saying now is not me trying to get back with you, im not , im sure youre happy with someone else by now,  im just saying this because it just simply needs to be said,  for me. I miss everything we did together, even when we fought I was ALWAYS proud and humbled that you were my girl and no matter how stupid the argument (my fault prob) was, I never doubted my feelings for you.

Orla worked with someone that could talk to the ‘dead’ im not a great believer in that crack but long story short she ended up talking to my dad and he said for her brother  (me)  to get whatevers eating him up from the inside out, just let it go like. But that’s my problem you see, ive tried. I cant, its tearing me a part it is caoimhe. I haven’t been the same person. As im typing this im just thinking about how stupid this sounds, I hope if I ever show you this you actually understand what im trying to say.

Basically, im writing this to try , to try get over you. Yes two years later im still here struggling . without you. Being the needy eegit I always was , you made me feel alive , im pretty sure ill never get that feeling again, maybe I might get lucky and get close but caoimhe you were just a diamond to me. I don’t know why I used a diamond to describe you because youre much more than that .

To the woman i loved and lost.

The guy that will always love you.