This might be stupid but it’s also one of those nights where I’m having trouble falling asleep. The tears don’t flow anymore. Maybe I’ve finally accepted that there is no “us”. I wish you could know what I felt for you was true and I wish I could tell you, you look the best when you are smiling. I know that I ended things abruptly. We always knew that I loved you more than you ever could.
Love, I can compete with the world for you… but I cannot compete with you for you. So yeah, even though I could have suffered I decided to let go of it all. Everyone deserves a chance at true love. I would have suffered again. But what can I say, people change or rather they realize. I felt like I wasn’t enough for you most of the time. I couldn’t care about what people said like you do. I wouldn’t want to call you anything but incredibly warm. That’s all I miss dear C. you are so warm that people swarm around you. I know you will never be alone or single for long. You are that kind. But I don’t regret breaking up with you. But I wish we had a clean break. Or maybe according to you we had one. You had made up your mind while I was searching for words to get back to you. I hope you fall in love with a person like I did. To know how it feels like to put someone before you. And I’m praying that the person respects and loves you back. That’s all I wish for. You wished me on my birthday. I don’t know why. I didn’t sleep that night like you guessed. I was busy making fantasies of the future with you. And then the harsh reality came back to me. I was and am still blocked. This is not a movie and we are not going to end up meeting accidently. So… Adios amigo. I hope this relationship made you a half as happy as it made me. We were different but our beliefs were the same. Thank you for being so warm and kind. Don’t ever change sweetheart.
Thank you for being so honest and kind, knowing that this would help me realize myself all over again. I will forever respect you for the strong person you are.
p.s.i will always love you