I don’t understand

I don’t understand

I don’t understand
Dear Richard,
I don’t understand why you did it. Why did you cheat? This is the question I’ve been dying to ask you. I’ve been wanting to text you and ask you, for closure. But will you even text me back, do you not have the balls or do you just have too much pride, which is it? My best friend tells me to not even bother, because you only did it for yourself and that you don’t care for my feelings. I wish this weren’t true, but it is. I ask myself also, where I went wrong. People say that people cheat because they are unhappy and they look for love and affection in other places.

And I find this out after you broke up with me. I wish I could’ve found out sooner to save myself from any more time I would’ve spent loving you when you didn’t love me back really. And that’s another thing, you broke up with me because my parents were too strict and didn’t let us go out a lot. I was so mad at them Richard, you corrupted me to go against my parents, and that’s my biggest sin yet. I blamed them for a couple days and when my dad went to your house and talked to you and your parents and tried to be more lenient and let us hang out more. You still didn’t budge on changing your mind on us. I spend days trying to patch up and make things work but you know how they’re old school and they’ll always be careful.
You said it was all too much, and there was no way to fix the problem “my parents” but there is ALWAYS a way, you just believed I was’t important enough for you to try. Everyone told me there had to be another reason that you broke up with me, it couldn’t have been just my parents. And I figured it out. You didn’t want to be committed anymore, you wanted freedom to be able to talk to other girls and spend your Senior year doing whatever you wanted. I hope you’re happy now though.
It’s okay though I’m not mad or bitter anymore. I honestly feel sorry for you because you’ll be searching forever for that feeling only I could give you. And you said maybe in the future we can work, do you think I will sit around waiting for you?! YOU ARE SO WRONG. I will find someone who appreciates and will meet me halfway in a relationship like you never did.
I’m learning to love myself Richard, know my worth, something you could never teach me. I was living a year and a half in a delusion believing you loved me like I did you. I give you credit though, you were so sneaky. I wanted to trust you, you said you wouldn’t lie, but I was so blind.
It’s okay though, we were naïve. Me for depending on you for happiness and you giving up on the one thing who would’ve walked on water for you. I put my whole entire heart, soul and body into this love. I would have moved heaven, earth and hell for you. I did everything I could to make it work because I though our relationship was bigger than our problems. If you really did love me why did you stop when things got hard? Why did you cheat on me when I promised to love and cherish you? I don’t understand.
– I


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