Head over heels…we fell for each other in seconds, you did anything for me, you showered me with love….you then took me on a rollercoaster, blamed your ex wife, left me, came back…

You made plans, talked about babies…but all your words were empty.

You left me alone in my deepest despair, when i fell pregnant with my first child, your child. At first you were happy and then boom, you turned into a devil…

you abused me emotionally, you pushed me into abortion, you knew i was all alone in this foreign country without my family – so i had no other choice, i was scared of you.

The day i terminated the life of our child, and you said it was only a bloodclot, a huge part of me died too.

You were cold, ice-cold!!!!

you moved on, fucked another girl and another girl…like nothing happened…you just returned to business as usual…i never did! as of today i am trying to cope, connect with nature and find peace again.

I wish i could have shared all my fear, hurt, anger, tears with the only person in the world who was part of that. You! But not once have you asked how i was doing…the girl you cared soo so much at the beginning, the girl you were sending videos to and the girl you drew little comics for. The girl you said you spent the most amazing weekend with in 6 years when we went to Adelaide…

You just diappeared, partied and talked our relationship down to lust.

While i tried to heal – emotionally and physically.

You seem to do nothing without a strategy – calling me after 2 months asking me how i was doing – 2 months too late. I assume you were just scared there will be more legal action coming.

I very much doubt your interest in my health was genuine.

If you want to really know how i am …i have good days and bad days.

i cannot see pregnant women and i have to force myself to interact with babies (as you know i have a couple of friends with babies).

I trusted you so much Gabe, and you just stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife.

I was already down emotionally being pregnant and you kept putting so much pressure on me.

I still miss you, you really touched my heart but i am trying to hate you for what happened!!

Sandra