“Hey Jen, I just really need to apologize for the way I made you feel. I see now that saying –‘Let’s get married’ a few times, and calling you my soulmate, giving you a gem stone filled with my love and speaking about how flowing our chemistry is—Could make you feel as though I cared for you deeply. And that these types of words, and this type of language would make you feel greatly for me as well. I’m so sorry about creating false hope in you.

I see now how sharing sexual intimacy, dreaming and sharing dreams about travelling and having a family together, texting that I heard whisper about holding onto you for a long time, giving you an eternity necklace, and asking you to get to Isagenix Crystal Executive so I can propose to you on stage; how that might make you think and feel that we were going to have a long and prosperous relationship and how exciting those ideas would make you feel. I’m again very sorry for giving you false hope about our future.

And how when I became distant, and repeatedly reassured you were just having insecurities and that it was my own issues with Chad, the gym, my Mom, my Dad, a possible lawsuit, and all my other financial burdens – and every time you asked to visit me, I accepted your company; how I was actually just realizing I didn’t have feelings for you; how that could confuse you very very much. I’m so sorry for misleading you, I should have been honest with you.

I’m also sorry for the way things ended. I should not have had that girl over before ending things between us, cheated on you. I should not have lied to you, telling you I wasn’t planning to date, that I was breaking up with you to solve my issues, and starting dating right away publicly, and secretly dating before we broke up. I should have been honest.

I can see now how all the build-up in the beginning of the relationship caused a lot of pain when we broke up. I see that relationships DO have expectations.

Again, I need to apologize for not being understanding of your pain. I’m sorry for insulting and belittling you and your feelings; threatening to expose you, and attempting to humiliate you in front of the Isagenix team; calling you a coward, insecure, jealous, a fool, a child, a little girl, piece of work, an unprofessional slob, to grow up, calling it bullshit and your drama. I see that I did hurt you, and I’m truly sorry about that.”

—————

Kyle, getting Karri involved isn’t going to solve anything, it will probably fuel the fire. Your state of denial/denying your part, selective ‘rights vs wrongs’ (that suspiciously always favour you), and constant self-righteous self-justification about your interactions/reactions/solutions; fuel the fire.

Brody isn’t your friend. You yell at him, tell him he’s wrong, and try to tell him what to do (and call it help). You have a strange obsession for him, that honestly creeps him out a lot (texting him how much you love him, how gorgeous he is, etc.). Stop stalking him. Leave him alone. You’re a smart guy Kyle, and you’d told me when you knew you’d bothered him and about how he doesn’t msg you for days after you say certain things. When you do/say things that make someone stop talking to you, you’re driving them away as a friend and business partner. When I first met you he had you on block, and unblocked you. So every time you accuse me of being the motive to his decision (or me being the way back to him); you’re wrong, he’s done with you. You were sabotaging that relationship from the beginning, on your own. And telling yourself he’s jealous and angry, is just self-projection of your own issues. You need to confront your issues with jealousy and anger, my friend. You’re just trying to convince me of certain ideas of forgiveness and connection so I can tell Brody and you can be in his life again. End the mad obsession!

Stop accusing me of slandering your name. I only told who I needed to tell about my hurt feelings over the break up. And honestly YOU are the only one who is giving an impression of yourself to the other people. We hardly know each other, I hardly know the people you introduced me to, therefore it is impossible for me to influence them to such a degree, and honestly, that would not be my intention. Truthfully, at our age, the majority of high-functioning adults are able to decipher their own opinions, and don’t take on opinions of others without weighing and comparing and putting them through their personal filter of life.

I decided to take it upon myself to contact Rikki. She confirmed a few details you mentioned. I have to bring up that you straight up lied to me on the phone yesterday. You DID cheat on me with her, and you lied to me about it. And you lie to yourself about it being ok because you ‘realized a week before you didn’t have feelings for me’ (which wasn’t even your words, you said it was imbalanced, not that you didn’t have feelings.. you said you DIDN’T want to break up). Then you accused me of falsely accusing you when you KNEW I was right. Can’t you just be honest? Can’t you just admit your faults? Adults don’t work like that. Christians don’t work like that. Stop hiding behind your faith, your scriptures, your religious reps and ideologies.. don’t try and make yourself seem like an ultra-spiritual being who’s love and connection to God is superior to everyone else’s, exempting yourself from accountability and sin. Does God want you lying to your brothers and sisters? Treating them with disrespect and inferior? If your claims of reconciling these things with God were true you would not feel the need to conceal and lie about them when fully confronted and having opportunity to ‘put out the fire’. You fuel the fire when you lie and deceive, my friend. -Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.-

Sometimes the best way of creating peace among brothers is recognizing that you presence causes anxiety and animosity, therefore keeping to yourself is the best resolve (1 Thessalonians 4:11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,).

When you choose behaviours that don’t align with the moral standards of the people you’re trying to do business with and be friends with (and the morals you claim to have), there is an effect/reaction with those relationships. It shows that you lack integrity in life and in business (because you carry-over your personal life and business life often), and the people distance themselves from you.

I’m not just articulate Kyle, I’m also very intelligent. I understand you, and am understanding of your entire situation. I just understand in ways that don’t get you what you want, so you’re upset and trying to manipulate my thoughts in your favour.

At the end of the day I still have compassion for you, as much as you don’t see it that way. I truly believe your intentions are from a wholesome, genuine place in your core, but you choose to practice your familiar ways of deceit, sexual-immorality and self-destruction; instead of truth and vulnerability. I believe you want love, but it’s so distorted in you, you can’t produce it properly, and resolve through dishonesty (to yourself and others). As much as I see all these things and I hurt and pray for you, I also know your are an intelligent, reflective personality. Your pain and broken past does not exempt you from personal responsibilities, such as respect for others (recognized by strangers, friends, and family alike; not a one-perspective respect, or partial respect; displayed and worded specifically to gain reverence from others), utter truth (defined in a universal way, not just a personal/partial way – so it is understood and unanimous by multiple thinkers).

I believe that you have such a great potential to be humble, resilient, and pure (I’ve witnessed it, and despite how you’ve wronged me, I believe in THAT Kyle, not the broken, deceitful Kyle). But there is a great battle over your spirit that you fight moment to moment, and the fact that it had overtaken you for so long, you succumb to it, and convince yourself you’re doing the right thing. You won’t accept help, and it forces the people who love you to have to do it from a distance.

You’re holding onto your goodness, and drowning in your toxic behaviours.

STOP. BE AWESOME. BE TEACHABLE. BE OPEN. BELIEVE. ACCESS JESUS’ LOVE AND FORGIVENESS. END YOUR SUFFERING.

If you ever thoroughly read this you will ultimately pull out portions to become defensive about, misread it, and form irrational justifications, that seem viable to you (and maybe a few people that are easily manipulated). You would become self-righteous about how well you’re doing, and deceive yourself again and again because deep down you’re you’re holding onto anger and blame, and it causes you to damage innocent bystanders (I forgive you, but will never allow you to be close to me again).

PLEASE leave me alone. Never contact me. Be friendly if we run into each other and leave it so.