dear ex,

sometimes i honestly feel like you do not in anyway understand the impact you made in my life. i’d be lying if i said i knew i was in love when you first tweeted me and asked for a follow back but then again all those retweets and replies told me a different story . developing interest is sometimes one of the most slowest process and in other cases it just happens within a snap of a finger. right there and then you became my love. when you said i love you for the first time i felt a twisting feeling in my chest and for a moment i couldn’t say i loved you too. days went by, you made me feel more special each and everyday, and i turned each and everyday, and i fell in love each and everyday, and I started smiling each and everyday. i had filled a void in my heart that i had for the longest time.

a relationship can never be that without fights, but our fights always brought out the worst in the both of us. it showed me a monster that i knew i didn’t fall for. i constantly apologized only because i didn’t want an empty space in my heart that had been closed for now 3 months. i had always blamed myself for our fights being blown out of proportion because i thought you felt that i said i loved you too through my teeth and not from the bottom of my heart. you must understand that if you’ve been broken all your life and when someone comes and just gives you all this love, things seem a lil peculiar so you can’t just give in and fall in love.

i swear i didn’t realize how much i loved you until you told me it was over. i broke into pieces and i was just desperate to get you back. you pulled away so quick and right after that i was sure that you never felt shit for me. you allowed us to get back together and lawrd knows how happy i was but with doubt still insight because of how quickly you moved on the last time. no wait you didn’t move you but that other person was always there and it became clear that i was always by the side. you did not even try to dodge that bullet but you actually put me right in front of it. i told myself that i’d never allow to be made a fool like ever again but I was only fooling myself. when you came back 2 months later and i heard your heartfelt apology i was taken all over again and it had been like nothing happened.

i was always uneasy with the fear of you leaving me again but you can never control life can you ? everything had happened in like 8 months and i would’ve sworn it felt like a terrible marriage of 8 years. i’m a bit unsure about what happened after that but what i’ve always wanted to say was i am sorry for making you cheat on “your person” i am sorry i couldn’t say i love you from lift off i am sorry i was enough for you i am sorry i just couldn’t please you. i also want you to know how thankful i am for all the great times we had and i hope you sleep easy at night knowing that i will never be able to love anyone like i love(d) you i will never be able to move on and my life will never be the same because you tore it apart and broke it down.