What I actually wish I told myself a year ago

What I actually wish I told myself a year ago

What I actually wish I told myself a year ago

I’m not sure to actually address this letter to – to you, or to myself a year ago? There were so much turbulence a year ago and now my life has been afloat steadily for the last few months – no more drama, anger, ups and downs…just the rinse, recycle, repeat over and over. In some ways, I appreciate it – I really do. I don’t have to fear waking up, base the tone of my day on what someone else’s fancy is that day, or even wonder what thoughts are running through their head and if I was any part of it.

I wish I knew this a year ago – I wish I could saved all those nights of tears, the shatters of my heart each time you supposedly cruelly trampled on it, and worst of all – as embarrassed I am to admit, the undying hope that one day you would recognize again that there was a part of you that loved me.

But now I have finally woken up – it’s not too late, it really isn’t. I want to live well and I want to move on and maybe I will finally be able to now. For the first time, I can feel the ice cold mist that you carry about you too bitter cold – I don’t think I can stay any longer. I feel pain again, but like a release this time – that maybe I am finally free of your shackles.


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