How exhilarating it can be to finally wake up from a dream – part dream and part nightmare. I don’t know why sometimes why a simple event which you could have already predicted could still produce ripples of effect. But it did. I don’t understand nor do I appreciate why I have been blind in the last 1-2 years but I am glad to regain my sight again. And my dignity. And most of all the hope to carry on and throw away this baggage.

I’m not sad that now any chance of reconciliation is completely gone. There is no need to meet again in this lifetime. If it happens, then it happens.

I am slightly upset because I have lost things precious to me – my memories, my hopes and my strong desire to want to believe that the person I had loved so deeply was a decent person. But he was not. He was a selfish, irresponsible, and cold person. I do not know what kind of person he is to his current girlfriend, that is none of my business. I am disappointed that I never saw those qualities for what they were – I instead saw moments that did not truly belong to us, wrote stories and sung melodies of a us that never truly existed, and long after he left, I so wanted to believe that someone who had once told me how much he cared truly did.

But as any naive – and shamefully not even so young girl – has tales of falling for a dream that has shattered in her hands, I too tell the tale of the girl who could not see the truth for what it was, the girl who desperately did not want to believe that she was in love with a lie, and a boy who simply did not care. How she would make up theories for how he cared – but he did not and does not. As history goes, whether the boy learned the lesson from this relationship or others before, he may even change or act in ways that she only had wished upon on herself. But none of that matters to her anymore nor is it any of her business.

Like a breath of fresh water, she has finally been given a chance at real love without the baggage and weight of a previous toxic relationship. She has finally recognized the lies, the hurt, the tears – she can finally see him for what he was and with a gunshot, all the birds in the air disperse – she must move on now just like the birds, she perhaps was wrong at one time and she thought she saw bliss in shadows but now she will leave shadows where they belong.

Perhaps some will call her silly, call her pathetic, call her too soft for this harsh world. But she refuses to let them beat her down – everyone deserves a chance. Even if she does wish she has never met him, she can not change the past, only what is ahead. She should be forgiven for her misjudgement, her misgivings, and her misguided pursuit of love? Why we say? For she was blinded – by the pretense of love in the form of a shadow that never cared to stay. But she is blinded no longer – she will proceed into the light where no shadows do not dare play – life has unblinded her.