b,

There isn’t a single day that I don’t think of you, I love you with all my heart and there isn’t anything I can do to change that.

And I don’t even know if I want to change that.  

When you were mine and I was yours I had an outlet to pour all the love in my heart into you, the more love I gave you the more I had to give.  

Now it feels like the longer we go without speaking all this emotion in my heart is started to decay.  I want you to be happy more than anything, its just hard to keep bitterness from creeping in.  

I still don’t completely understand what happened, I think that is something I need to accept because I never really will.  One day we were talking about all the adventures we were going to have together, celebrating our upcoming anniversary, our future, and the next day you didn’t know what you wanted, that you couldn’t commit to us.  

I have these thoughts.  If i was more attractive, more funny, more valuable, you wouldn’t have left me so easily.  I would be something you cherished more.  Sometimes I feel like if we had just one more night together I could change your mind, make you feel how much we love each other.  That we belong together.

If you called me right now I’d drop everything and fly to you.  I’d break all my own rules for you.  I’d forget the last month apart and hold your hand and never let go.  

Until then I’ll sit and hope for a phone call, a text, an email, a tweet… even your random Facebook likes have me holding on.  I just want to know you’re happy, even if thats not with me.  I guess thats how I know I really love you.

Thanks for showing me what real love is.  If I never find it again I’ll always have ours.  If you feel the same way I guess it wasn’t for nothing.  

Think of me and smile, I hope to be able to do the same one day.  Wherever you are, I’m sending you love, you’re my friend till the end.

xo

d