We weren’t even a year in the first time I tried to leave. So many more times followed in the almost eight years we spent together. Each time I I left I thought it was because I was unhappy, but turns out I just wasn’t used to be loved. I was running away from the unknown I guess.

I never actually pictured a life without the two of you. Every dream and memory has the two of you, my family. The few days we spent apart throughout the years seemed like an eternity. Here I am almost 2 years later and it hurts like it did in the beginning.

The worst part is I know I did this. I know I pushed you away until you broke. I know how much I hurt you and him. If I could take it back I would in an instance. I would do anything imaginable to have my family back but I know that’s never going to happen. I can’t even get my best friend back – and it is killing me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fill this hole I have; I can’t even fathom the thought of trying. I am so sincerely sorry and hopefully one day you will believe that I never did nor never could hate you.