stupid boy

stupid boy

stupid boy

LTME postYou screwed up, you are screwed up. Go back to the bar and your good time ‘friends’.
I’m done. I can’t believe you thought I meant I wanted a ‘clean slate’ with you… that was totally unexpected.
I was trying to tell you that I wanted to start over with someone else, someone new, someone that wasn’t you.
I didnt know what to say when you reached out for me, i didnt know what to do.

I want my life back and i thought i’d let you know that when i said i was ready to move on, with a clean slate….
Oh, im so sorry you misunderstood. Im sorry i had to ‘prove a point’ and show you exactly how I could give you exactly everything you asked for and it still wouldnt be enough… im done trying, done turning myself inside out to
do everything you want.. Im ready to just be me again. I told you I was ready to go back to living my life my own way. … you said I never stopped… that was like a slap in the face, proof that everything i did was wasted effort and you were just a horrific waste of time. this letter isnt for you, its for me, its my declaration of independence.

Im going to go back to being happy and free. I’m going to smile and laugh again. Im going to be as friendly and as nice as I want to people I want to be nice to. Im blocking your number and moving on with my life. Right now I may not be ready for something serious, but I’m already looking forward to the day when I can start dating again. Im already happier just having watched you walk out the door, knowing I never have to see you again.
Even if someone else, someone new breaks my heart… Im going to fall in love again and I’m going to give it all I have. I may need time to heal, but someday I will the amazing person i was before i met you. before i let you drag me into the dirt with your lies, im going to recover, im going to feel better.
It doesnt matter to me anymore that you taunt me by saying i never cared about you, that it was always about me…. i dont care what lies you have to tell yourself in order to live with what you’ve thrown away.. i dont care what lies you have to tell yourself in order for you to justify your shabby treatment of someone who pulled out all the stops in order to please you…. i dont care anymore if you actually believe I am that horrible person you repeatedly accused me of being… you have become my biggest hater and as one of my haters I can only say, close your eyes, bitch cuz what im gonna do next is gonna blow your mind.
You are going to really hate me when you see me next and im happier alone then i ever was with you.

2 Comments

  1. Prince Doza 5 years ago

    Do I know you? You seem familiar.

  2. Prince Doza 5 years ago

    On a second reading I noticed one off detail, so there may be some confusion. The person intended isn’t alone.

    In any case, it’s helped to remind me to watch my temper.

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