Dear ex,
You know, sometimes I still miss you. Sometimes I still crave you every single moment of the day. But how can I not? How can I not crave the one thing that always got me through the day, through life. How can I not miss someone who made me feel like I was on the highest high I could possibly be? You made me feel like nothing could ever break me, especially not you. But now here I am and it’s almost 1 AM and you have completely broken me, ruined me. I’ve always wondered how someone could have the nerve to lie straight to my face, even with white lies. How someone could know that they’re making me feel happy on a false statement, like that’s actually okay or something. Because how is lying and saying that you love me and kissing me like you actually felt something okay? Oh, it “made me happy”? Screw you and your messed up train of thought. It’s you that’s truly the broken one though, because a whole person could never lie like that to someone because they know the repercussions that would occur from it. But you didn’t care, did you? No. Of course not. You got what you wanted from me; a better reputation, a good girl on your arm, the love you never felt from anyone else. But after all the things I gave you, knowingly and unknowningly, it still wasn’t enough. It never would be. So maybe that’s how you could look into my innocent green eyes and tell me that you loved me, because that was my drug. The more I thought you loved me, the more I gave to you, the better you looked. You had to have cared at some point though, right? Because you did eventualy end up leaving me after the countless times you promised me that would never happen. Maybe you couldn’t take the guilt of lying to me anymore, or maybe you just wanted a new pawn added to your sick, twisted game. But just know this, I know you like the back of my hand, if not better. I know how unhappy your life is and how all you crave is for someone to really love you. Well, you had that. And when, or if ever, you wake up and realize that I would have gone through the pits of hell for you, for us, you’ll want me back; you’ll want it all back. The way we looked into each other’s eyes, the way we felt pressed against each other. Every moment spent in each other’s arms in your bed at 11 PM, every single kiss we ever shared. Our “I love/miss you most” fights, heck even our real fights. Most of all though, you will miss my love. How no matter what you did that could have, and should have, damaged our relationship I always forgave you. How I made sure you knew that I loved every single thing about you, even your demons and flaws. You’re going to miss it all, and when you do, me and my unconditional love will reside in a new home. Somewhere where it’s actually appreciated. One thing will never change though, I will always love you and crave you, but I also deserve to be loved and craved back. This is why it will be too late when you realize all of this, because I finally got tired of waiting for you to want me as badly as I wanted you. So congratulations, you screwed up big time forcing my love right out the door. But thank you, because eventually me and my love will find someone even more loveable and cravable than you ever were. Thank you.