Dear Kyle,
It’s been a couple of months since we last spoke and it’s killing me. I just want to say that I am very sorry for not saying I love you as much as you wanted to hear. It never meant that I fell out of love for you, or that I loved you less. I am sorry that our long distance relationship did not work out as planned. We had a special connection, the way you and I loved was something special and magnetic. I will always cherish the memories we had when you visited me in San Francisco of last year. I still listen to “Love,Love,Love” by Avalanche City because you gave me that song, as our song. I also still listen to “Collide” by Howie Day cause that was the song that brought us together. We had little kinks in our relationship that were mend-able if we had given a chance to talk about them.
You will always be the one that will always have my heart because I do not want anyone else but you. Honestly, I wish you would just give our love a second chance because I still love you more than any guy I have ever been with in my past relationships. It sucks how you broke up on our third year anniversary, when I was starting to fall deeper in love with you. When you broke up with me, it felt like a blade cutting through me and I am sorry, that I lashed out on you when you said it was over. I never meant to say those things to you, I was shocked because we had the most special bond ever imagined.
The fact that you’re ignoring me hurts more than anything because you were the one that saved me from myself when I was suffering from depression and self infliction. I hate this distance between us, because I was born to make you happy. I’m lost without you. Thinking about you makes me cry for your love. I wish you would ask to be my boyfriend again, because you make me the happiest even if you live in SoCal and I live in NorCal, you are my happiness. The reason why I am still alive. I’m not over you and I do not think I would ever get over you.
Every day and night I find myself thinking so much about you. You’re the reason I have a hard time sleeping at night. I think about the way you loved me and the way you called me your number one. I remember calling you, my forever love because you will always be my forever love. No one will replace the special place I have for you. Thank you for bringing my life joy, thank you for being the one that made me the happiest, and thank you for all the things you have done for me.
Kyle, when I promised you that I love you unconditionally I meant it. I don’t hate you for breaking up because I am still in love with you and I don’t know how to stop my heart from loving you. I wish you the best in all you do, I hope that one day (if not soon) you’ll come back to the place where you belong, which is my heart. Being with you felt like home. I will always love you my sweet Ky-Ky.
Love Always,
Emi
5 Comments
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That’s a beautiful letter, and strikes at my heart, as my situation is much the same. Wishing you comfort. X
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Thanks M.
I adored him so much, he really was my rock. And I also hope that you find comfort M. X
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This letter reminds me so much of my first love. Although we were not long distance, he cut off all communication after a huge fight, and it felt exactly as you said: like a blade going through the heart. I would spend every night crying and hoping that he would remember the special bond we had and he would want it back. Anyways, I promise you that you will move on. Take a break, and eventually the right person will find you (or you will find them). I know it might feel like it can’t be anyone but him, but believe me there is someone better out there. Treat yourself to something nice; go shopping, go to movies with your girlfriends, eat some chocolate. I wish you a speedy recovery. *hugs*
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Sorry for the late reply Lindsay, I was not on this site for a while. Thank you for your beautiful words and advice. My heart still does hurt after 4 months but hopefully I do find closure and that Kyle and I do talk to each other again. I loved him more than any guy and he was the one that made me believe I was capable of being loved. I hope you do find peace as well. I wish I could hug you in person for being so sweet. XO
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Hi Em,
I just been with this site for 2 days now and I found this.
You are a tough girl Em and I really admire you for that, I wish I could be like you – someone’s who is brave enough to accept. I on the other hand, broke up with my first guy (no one followed thou) and even if he ask me for a couple of times before to have me again, I declined and now that he’s with plenty of girls already, I regret pushing him away. I know Em that someday you and Kyle will get your closure and after that you can finally let go.
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