April 29th 205 I got the pleasure of starting a relationship with the most amazing boy I have ever met. He’s the sweetest thing, and he cares about people a lot. He made me laugh and smile everyday, he gave me this magical feeling inside me that made me feel like I could burst with happiness, every morning when I saw him he would tell me that i’m beautiful and it would melt my heart. He was the perfect guy, a guy every girl dreams about. I had some issues about trusting guys and believing they could love/care about a girl but with him it all went away, I was comfortable and happy. Before we even started talking I one day noticed his smile, he has a smile that could take your breath away, I know it took mine away. When I would look into his eyes I would see the world, everything I have ever wanted. He is the type of guy who would send you good morning/goodnight texts that made you felt like a freaking princess and the most special girl in the world. No wonder I fell in love with him in under two weeks. The quote “I fell in love the way you fall asleep” is probably the truest thing for me, it was like a fairy tale with him. Words could never explain what this guy did for me and how happy he made me. Then some things happened and his dad had forced us to break up and my whole world crashed into a million pieces, I couldn’t stop crying for days. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I came home from school turned off all the lights in my room and laid in my bed/ cried and listening to break up songs. I would find myself sleeping almost all the time, I talked to people less. It felt as if a huge hole and been punched through my chest and every second of the day I was trying to grasp for air, like there was this huge weight on my chest and someone was squeezing my heart and it was like it was about to burst. I was a totally wreck.. now at first he was a total sweetheart about it saying that he was so sorry and that he never wanted this to happen , that he loves me. But then I would hear things he would say and he was making fun of me to his friend one day. I forgave him eventually for it, he apologized just recently. We didn’t talk for over 2 months. During those months after the break up I would be getting better and then someone would bring him up, or I would have a dream about it and the whole was right there again. Or I would think I would be getting over him and then i’d think about a memory of us and I knew I still love him. I even recently tried to be in a relationship with a guy I liked before I dated him, and of course I was honest with him saying I loved my ex but I didn’t want to be and that I was working on it.. but of course he was hurt and couldn’t handle it and broke up with me. The quote “The worst feeling is when you can’t love anyone else, because your heart still belongs to the one who broke it.” is spot on for me, and it sucks because still to this day I love this guy more than anything in the whole world and I would do anything, be anything for him. He’s still my everything and i’m stuck because I want him, but I don’t want him. I would like another relationship but at the same time I know i’ll never find someone who makes me feel the way he did or make me that happy. We’ve talked the past two days just about random stuff sometimes about what happened between us but never really getting into it, i’m there for him and he’s there for me. It’s making it easier i’m grateful we can still maintain a friendship, because once upon a time he was my best friend and we talked to each other about everything.