Dear Oliver
I’m taking this last chance to write you one last letter. This is the last “letter to my ex” because I have a strong feeling you won’t be my ex much longer. All my night crying and praying that you’d realize how much I love you have paid off. It was really hard. Letting you go (which is obviously something I never fully did), moving on etc. and while it hurt me so, so badly I look back and I’m glad it happened. I learnt so much about myself and was able to grow as a person in amazing ways I didn’t know I was capable of. One of the hardest parts about losing you was feeling so sure of our destiny and having you leave. They say “when you know, you know” and I knew! I had never been so sure of anything in my life. People laughed at me and I didn’t care because I knew I was made for you. When you left I lost it. I lost all feeling of certainty for anything. I couldn’t stand to be wrong like that again and invest myself into something or someone that could leave at any given moment. I disn’t set my heart on things for a while. I was a mess. But months went by and he sun was still the sun without you and I got used to that. I was ok. And when I took that deep breath and looked out the window, I knew I was going to be ok and that this hadn’t broken me. I found myself and I made myself happy for the first time in years. And everything felt great, but something was missing and I felt the tears roll down my cheek as soon as I realized it was you I was missing. However this time I didn’t down a bottle and call you crying. I left it alone and carried on with my life. I still thought about you but it never controlled me again.

and then you’re back. It’s almost infuriating the way you can creep back into my life without any warning. I wanted to be mad but I’m a strong believer in the whole “right person, wrong time” concept and this time I knew it; it was finally our time. So for right now you’re still my ex but I just want to express how excited I am to fall in love with you all over again. I strongly believe that I needed to figure out who I was and how to love myself before I could ever make things work between us. And I have. And I can’t wait to see what the future brings for us. I love you and I have since the moment I met you. Thank you for coming back to me and letting us try again.