Hi S,
I know you want me to leave you alone and you want me to never bother you again. It took me forever to realize that you moved on well before you actually broke up with me. For so long I was searching for a real legitimate reason as to why you all the sudden didn’t love me anymore. You gave me excuses and never told me the whole story. I know that you never actually had the love you wanted with me. By your definition of love, you and I never had something real. I don’t think you’ll ever actually know how that feels to be on the other end of it. You took the easy way out and you cheated on me after you KNEW I thought that was the lowest and most disrespectful thing you could ever do to someone. I had to find this out by snooping and reading your darkest secrets. It was a really shitty way to find out how someone actually feels about you. Instead of feeling guilty for what you did, you put the blame on me and didn’t forgive me for not trusting you. At the time, I ACTUALLY forgave you for kissing another guy and I believed that it really didn’t mean anything to you. I fell for it and i believed all the bullshit you said to me. You expressed some of the most meaningful and deep feelings you can to me, only to lie about it and never admit that it was all your fault. If you actually cared about me and had some respect, you would’ve told me and broken up with me right then and there.
I asked for closure from you. I realized that I was never told the true story. There were other guys and you never told me. That is the reason I’ve always been looking for. It’s the reason why I pursued and bothered you even though it was long done. You used me and you know it. You are truly an awful person and I lost my respect for you forever. Before it all started, all I ever wanted was the honest truth from you. I was always honest about how I felt and I deserve the same in return. I’ve learned a lot about myself and relationships. It’s just the worst ending to something that was so pure and joyful. I look back now and think: Was she really ever actually in love with me? Was it all just a lie?
These questions still haunt me and I may never know the true answer from you. I still wake up in the middle of the night and think about what you left. I need the truth from you. I don’t care how you justify your own actions. Own up to your actions and be a decent person. You’ve already hurt me with no return. Tell me the real reason and I can finally move on.
3 Comments
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If I could give you any advice or words of wisdom, it would be to move on anyway. You will almost certainly never get the answers you want. She doesn’t feel any guilt or remorse. All she is feeling is the benefit of her actions.
Say, for instance, she wanted to learn a martial art – what better way to get a freebie or discount than to fuck an instructor? Once she’s gained whatever benefit she seeks, there is no reason for her to continue her association. Briffault’s Law to a T.
If you feel you were used and manipulated, don’t ignore it or try to reason it away – that is exactly what happened.
Familiarize yourself with the concept of hypergamy – otherwise known as “marrying up”.
Walk away, count it as a blessing she didn’t do more or completely ruin your life, move on, and take care of yourself. -
I felt like I was reading a letter of my own that I should have written a long time ago.
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I feel your pain. That’s how I feel about my ex boyfriend. When you said, “It’s just the worst ending to something that was so pure and joyful”, tears streamed down my face because that’s EXACTLY how I feel as well. Heartbreak sucks and it sucks that the person who you thought loved you, was the one to break your heart. I hope all the people who are going through a heartbreak can heal and one day meet someone who wouldn’t break our heart.
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