He called me a fucking idiot. He told me that he has someone. You have no idea how badly i wanted to run up to your house. You are always there for me. he ruined my whole life. i can never be sexual in a relationship again. ever. I cannot believe this. I’m going to forgive him because this is what he does. it is so fucking mentally exhausting. But he makes me happy. But with us, we never fought and i was always happy. I was the only girl you did not cheat on. The moment is breaks apart. Me and him. I will come to you as a friend. Because no one would want someone who cannot be sexually invested in a relationship. this breaks me. im mentally trapped. im sorry. I should have picked you the time you picked me up from him punching his windshield and me punching him. I should have chose you. This would have never happened.
1 Comment
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This is wrong on so many levels. No matter how you feel about yourself, you don’t deserve to be abused – physically or emotionally. No one does.
Think about what it is about him that makes you happy, and really dig deep. Is he good to you, or is there something else – something hidden? Is it a status thing? Is he highly prized / coveted, and being with him makes your friends, or perhaps an ex, jealous? Is he a roommate – the missing piece to you being able to live on your own?
Whatever it is that binds you to this person, consider everything there could be, but consider your safety and well-being above all.
Lastly, sex is not love. It can be a fun, pleasurable thing to do, but, due to oxytocin release in the brain, it can be something that makes a bond between people stronger. If your reasons are personal, that’s understandable, and your reasons should be respected. Perhaps you may want to seek therapy, should it be that bad. However, you may want to give the next person a chance if you believe yourself undesirable, as it is more than possible the thing they desire is you, to please you, and grow closer to you.
I hope you can move on to a better place, and please, take care of yourself.
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