Dear J,

I think I have realized now how much time has gone by. I still cannot believe it because it’s still like I’m fourteen, and I’m still in the hurting process of losing you-leaving you, betraying you.

More than anything, I just want to say…I miss you fully .

Now that time has gone by , I really don’t know how I’d react to seeing you again…but last year I saw you in the bitter cold, and I so badly wanted to come toward you, wrap my arms around you but I couldn’t. It reminded me of how we were when we first met. I remember hiding away between those two houses and just kissing you, and you were warm…it was the best moment. .. but that was it. After a few weeks, you were torn out of my life and it took months to get over it. Months! Finally I met another man, just settled down, had a child.

But nothing ever hurt me more…than losing you. I may have acted like it was easy, but at the same time you didn’t see. And I was just lying to everyone. .

I loved you…and in a way I still love you. However, I see how much time has gone by…I see that we will probably never be. Not again, nor ever.

I wish you the best though, stay out of trouble-be safe.

I loved you once.

-K