It’s been three years. You’ve been with the same person and I’ve been dating around to find someone that could ignite a fire inside me like you did.

A lot has happened. I lost the most important person in my life. I wish you would’ve been there to at least tell me it would all be okay as I told her goodbye forever.

I thought I was happy. I finally moved on. And then one night you just had to press your lips to mine one more time. That’s why I’m even writing this anyway.

Under certain circumstances, I can’t tell you this to your face. As bad as I want to, this has to do.

Do you remember the night it was pouring, you just got laid off so I took you to dinner. On our way home we decided to drive around and talk. Things always got so heated between us. In retrospect, our love was the most passionate I’ve ever experienced. We pulled over on the side of the road and made love in the drivers seat of your car.

Or the time we went to our favorite spot under the stars, and you told me we would have a house there one day. Right on the water, where we could feed the geese every morning.

I still go there always. It’s the most relaxing and I sit on a blanket alone, imagining what it would be like to talk about empty future plans once more.

Remember the night we sipped on whiskey and water? We lit candles turned on music and you let me sing every word into your mouth between each kiss. We made love all night and I still play it over in my mind.

Remember the night the lighting was so green? It was the first and only
Time I’ve seen it. It was so hot, the stormed knocked out the electricity. We still held each other anyway.

I miss you so much. And I’m
Not sure if it’s me being in love with you, or upset nothing went my way.

I’m sorry I was so jealous, and that I made you feel the way I did.

I was insecure and so young.

I want to tell you all of these things one day if i can ever organise my thoughts into words.

I’ve never loved like you.

Till then, I hope this life is everything you thought it would be. And I still wish you happiness.

I hope I find it for myself too