The last days of november were once again the worst of my life (november 2014 was also quite bad).
We have been dating for about 5 months sinds this summer in july. It was not an easy decision for her but I convinced her to date me anyway because I loved her a lot, the decision was hard because of Distance. Three hours by train to see each other and that for 5 months straight. We did everything in such a short time, I also did everything I could to make her feel comfortable around me when you were with me because I knew it would be hard for you to make such a big step travelling alone for the first time to the other side of the country. But let’s get to the point, november ’15 started and I had some big projects coming up for school. I knew you didn’t like it because it would make me more absent for you, it’s already hard enough living that far away from each other. Then this first weekend in nov came up I was very busy friday-saturday and sunday.
On monday we started talking again around 6pm (that’s when she responded). She told me that she couldn’t handle it anymore and when she did tell me that I already knew that I had to do something quickly to make her change her mind, so she would stay me. I did not want to lose the love of my life.
As days past our communication went from bad to worse, she replied slower and sometimes she didn’t reply at all, I think I was going insane in that time. I tried so hard keeping her by my side but eventually she cut it off. How did I knew she cut it off? Because I’ve said to her “please don’t break up with me, I’ll have to ask you to get my hoodie back and I don’t want that.” In return she said “I’ll send it to you.” Those words were enough for me to realize that is was really over.
Never have I felt so heartbroken before, not because it costed a lot of money travelling back and forth and all the time I have spend on her but by how little she cared for me after she just left me without an apology or any sign at all that she felt sorry. No, Instead I had to find out week later that she was already dating another guy behind the scenes. And that’s easy to do in a long distance relationship of course, but it also proves that she never loved me and that even if you’re a nice guy trying hard you can still mess up if you take your eye of the ball for just a second.
To end this message, I hope she reads this one day or gets confronted with it in her mind. Right now I don’t think she even thinks about it because she’s dating someone else already but I still hope. Obviously I wasn’t always the best guy for her too because of the distance, I admit that. But I was assured that meanwhilst time past we would eventually end up living together, I was wrong.
I hope you read this S. Quijs, and realize what kind of bad person you really are.