You hurt me more than ever by leaving me. But what hurts worse was that you once loved me, held me, comforted me, and supported me. When we were together you told me you wanted a forever with me. You and I stayed up night after night talking about baby names for our future kids and the way we would decorate our house. I always had trust issues and you knew that, after 11 months i opened up to you and told you every little thing. All my fears, all my imperfections, all of it. You seemed to be there for me. We were together for a year and a half. Your parents always made me feel worthless but i never once thought you would someday do the same.

It kills me that I was your first and you can just leave me and break my heart. Saying Im annoying, ugly, too broken to fix and that im not worth loving. You told me you would always be there for me. You told me no one was ever going to make you feel the way i do. I was completely in love for the 2 years together. I started getting depressed and instead of loving me through the pain you made it worse. You always did drugs, cheated and lied to me constantly. i never questioned my love for you ever. i hate seeing you on the bus with her. i hate feeling worthless every single night. i hate how when people ask me or tell me about you i can feel the tears coming in. I hate how i spend night after night thinking about you when you dont even deserve a second. i hate how much pain im in. i hate how i have hurt myself because you hurt me. I love you still to this day. I miss you like crazy. you make me complete and i feel lost without you. i wish you could only see that. I miss you and im so sorry. i hate everything about this and i also hate myself for wanting you. you through me away.