It’s been 5 years after the breakup but the feeling’s still fresh, in my heart and in my memory. I know it was my fault. I hurt him and I let him go. Right now, I know he is happy with his new found love. I know I don’t have the right, but why do I miss him?

I met this boy during high school. I was 15 years old back then. We were together for almost 6 years. We were both young and vulnerable. We were so in-love. It was magical.

He meant the world to me and I to him. My parents don’t like him but together, we surpassed the challenges that came our way. We were so happy but not for long.

The relationship was on and off. It turned from sweet to bitter. I became selfish and carefree. It was all my mistake. We reconciled and agreed to start over. Then I did it again, and the cycle repeats. He didn’t say anything. It went on for months, a year maybe. We both tried (him mostly) to save the relationship no matter how hard. I know he was hurting. I am too. He loves me too much that he kept holding on. But I didn’t stop, I continued hurting him.

Suddenly I realized, I’m no good for him. He deserves someone better.

Until I met someone else. I needed to choose, between him and the other guy. I made a decision and it hurt him a lot. But I know that it will be for the better, for the both of us. I am no longer worthy of him. He needed to live again and be happy without me. Then, that’s it. Our love story ended.

Five years have passed, why do I still miss him? It’s as if everything just happened yesterday. I know in my heart that I still love him, the feeling never went away. It’s just there..longing. Maybe I will just have to deal with it for the rest of my life. Maybe it will go away someday.

Then he said hello after all these years. My heart jumped when I heard his voice. Everything came back. I wanted to shout and tell him that I miss him and I still love him. But I know that I should not do it, especially right now. We already have our own lives and we’re both happy, I guess. Some emotions we keep in our hearts, no matter how abundant, are better left unexpressed. It’s for the best…