My goodbye

My goodbye

Posted by Annabell in Still heartbroken

Dear Ex

I love you. I miss you. Even though you hurt me until the point that I’ve cried myself to bed every night for a year, and when I text you you laugh. But I guess, I love you because I love the pain. I guess, if there’s no pain then I don’t feel anything at all. You cheated on me with my “best friend”, but yet I miss you. Help. I’m drowning in all of your lies. I guess this is my goodbye letter to you, and to life. Goodbye filthy world.

About Annabell

2 Comments

StellaBlue 8 years ago
Reply

Dear Annabell, It’s like swimming with no land in sight. Right?
You’re so hurt.
The pain is the only way you feel oddly less than horrible. When there isn’t the intense pain and crying yourself to sleep and aching, then all you’ve got is unbearable numbness and wanting to end it all.
I know.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so awful.
Please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Suicide Prevention LIFELINE
Google and watch the Teal Swan video on YouTube titled I Want To Kill Myself (What To Do If You’re Suicidal)
I am getting relief watching Noah Elkrief videos (on youtube), too. He’s really helping. https://www.youtube.com/user/NoahElkrief
Hugs.
J 8 years ago
Reply

Annabell,

Please don’t end your life. Try your best to stay strong and fight to live. I know what it’s like to have been cheated on before. My ex cheated on me for 1 1/2 years out of our 2 year relationship. He was my first love. He lied to me all of the time, and it wasn’t until I actually found out the truth on my own after a bad gut feeling, that I discovered he wasn’t the person I thought he was. I told my close friends what happened, they advised me to be on guard and leave him.

I broke up with him, and although it was hard to cut off contact completely at first, I finally did and never talked to him again, or kept up with what he was up to. And it helped. 7 months later, I’m able to see that I was in love with the memory of the person who I thought he was, and not the person who he really is now. I realize being away from him is a lot healthier for me. I feel better than I did 7 months ago.

I wouldn’t be better without talking to my friends, family, and writing all of my feelings out in a journal. It really helped a lot. I hope you keep fighting to stay strong, I believe in you.

J