Hey D,
Wow. Somehow I came across this website at 1:20 am when I’m sitting on my bathroom floor crying over how much I miss you. So I thought I’d give it a shot, because I’ll try anything to feel better. March 20 2008. Our very first kiss. Do you remember the way I do? We were in the hot tub. Alone.
“You look good tonight!”
-“I look good all the time”
“That’s true”
And we kissed. It’s crazy, I was only 17 at the time. And I still remember it like it was yesterday. That was the most magical day of my life. I realized I loved you when I couldn’t stop thinking of you the weeks after that. I thought I was crazy! Id never fall in love! But you changed that, maybe that’s why I love you so much.
On and off. On and off. That was us. HOWEVER, we both knew that no matter who we were with we would always get back together. Always. That’s what we did. We were young and we knew we’d end up together. There was no stronger love. We wouldn’t talk for months, then pick up were we left off like we’ve been together for years!
But on Dec 17 2011 I made one of the dumbest phone calls of my life. I was drunk and missed you so much. So I made you choose. Either you were ready to be with me or you would tell me “move on”. But you were so young. You weren’t ready. So you told me to move on. I decided I would. After all it’s what YOU wanted. So I did, sorta. But I still loved you. How could I not? I met a nice guy. Treated me like a queen. And one night you called me, out of nowhere, my heart skipped a beat. The feelings were still there. You told me you were ready. Ready to be in love with me… Forever. But we’d done this so many times. I didn’t believe you. We met up, I cried in my car because I still loved you so much. But I was with someone else . Someone who already loved me, and I didn’t wanna be alone, plus you said to move on remember?. You told me you’d wait for me. I was the love of your life.
I would break up with him the second I had a reason. And that reason came pretty quick.. But you didn’t want to talk to me. Shortly after you got a girlfriend. Meghan… I cried a little.. BUT WE ALWAYS GOT BACK TOGETHER SO IT WAS FINE! Months went by.
A year and 10 months after you started dating. MARCH 20 2015 (7 years since our first kiss… Same exact date)
I’m sleeping in my spare bedroom, I’m angry, angry that were not together and that I love you so much. 3am and I get the news.. You are no engaged. I cried, cried and cried some more. I threw things. I punched myself in the head a million times. I didn’t eat. I didn’t go to work. I literally just cried at home. How could you do this to me? We always get back together remember? I wrote you a message a few days later. To let you know I knew, I told you not to be mean because I was a mess. You didn’t reply. But your sister text me asking if I was ok. Of course you asked her to text me. I love you, you’re still so sweet and caring. But I’m angry, angry that you didn’t give me that ring. That you are not marrying me! A few weeks before I had a client, whose a psychic. She told me I was getting proposed to soon! And that it would be so cute. You got engaged instead. I wonder if our destinies got mixed up.
I’m so angry that I am still crying 8 years later. On my bathroom floor. I’m angry that you can’t just give me one last chance to be with you. You told me I was the love of your life.. But somehow someone took my place. March 17 2017 will be the most miserable day of my life. I promise. I’ve already requested the day off… The day you make someone else your wife.
I can never express what I feel enough. I know you are my soul mate. I know I met you for a reason. I know I still love you 8 years later for a reason! You are and will always be the love of my life. That’s never going to change. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. Such a hard working man! You are my angel and my everything. There is nothing in this world that will ever make me not love you the way I did 8 years ago… The way I still do today!
I always pray all day long that things don’t work out, and I see you at a coffee shop in 10 years and we hit it off again. I say 10 years because I know I’ll still love you then like I do today, like I did 8 years ago.
Deep down in my heart I know you’re the man for me. And I’m the girl for you.
I love you so much. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you smile. I love the way you hug me and I love the way you kiss me. I love your perfect straight teeth. I love your stupid jokes. I love how much you loved me; and hopefully will love me again. I anxiously wait till we cross paths again, and that flame is still there. I know we will one day be together again. I pray we will be. I wish I could see you, touch you, hold you. I would give up the world for you. My love. My best friend. My high school sweetheart. The love of my life.
My life will never be the same without you, I will never be happy without you. You are my happiness. Until I see you again Dustin.
I love you so incredibly much. See you in my dreams like I always do. I love you. I love you. I love you.