First of all, I know I keep on saying that this will be my last message and I keep on failing on that matter. Now, this may not the last message you will receive from me but indeed, this will be my last apology letter you will receive as from now on, every words I will utter in this letter will be put into actions and not merely words.

I know that I messed up big time this time. I know my mistake and I understand the consequences of it. I just need to accept the fact that I lied to you and I have damage the trust you have given to me. And for that, I’m sincerely sorry for what I’ve done. It’s not that I’m sorry because you caught me lying to you but I’m sorry because I have broken the trust.

For the past three months that we’re together, since the day we reconciled, I was really happy and you know that. All my actions, gestures, efforts just to make you happy, all of them were real and not for show only. I don’t have any other intentions that time but to make you the happiest woman in the world. Sad to say, I have my own baggage that I didn’t took care of and that’s the reason of my downfall.

I admit that from now on, this will be a difficult journey for me but I have to do this. I need to register in my mind that what we have before will never be back and will be the same. I have severed the trust you have given me. I need to get my facts straight. I need to remember and embrace that having you back and giving me your trust again will not be a weeks or a month progress. It may even take years.

That why I’m doing this. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I failed as your lover due to my selfishness. All these things happened because of my attitude. My mistake was I let myself be vulnerable to temptation. I was so defenseless. All I think was my own self. I didn’t thought what will happen and what are the consequences of my actions. And for that, I’m really sorry.

Indeed, it hurts so much to see you happy with another person but I need to accept it. I’m the sinner here and you’re the victim that’s why I don’t have all the right to complain.

Now, I want you to know that your happiness is all that means to me. I love you, I really do. I love you so much that it hurts me to think that I have done this horrendous action to you. I know that even I explained myself how many times, you’re still angry with me. That’s why I need to do this, not for me but for you.

The thing is, maybe you will really forget me, maybe you will not forgive me, I don’t know really. I just need to broaden my mind about all the possibilities that will happen after this.

Now, for myself, I keep on telling you that I will redeem myself from all the misbehaving actions I committed. Maybe now, you’re starting to get annoyed at me. Don’t worry; this will be the last time that I will say this to you. I will definitely prove to you that I don’t have any other intention but to win your trust again, and maybe, hopefully, to win your love again. It’s not fixing the past but starting new beginnings.

I just need to have faith, a solid faith to hold on even if it’s vague to have you back. I need to trust myself that I can do this on my own and not with the help of other people around me. People call it a “blind faith” as you may not know the outcome. I just really want to prove myself to you. I really love you. I can’t even picture myself being with another woman but to only you. As what I’ve said, enough for the sweet apologetic words and let my actions do the talking.

Also from now on, I will stop all the nonsense doings. I will stop messaging you so you will not be bothered or get annoyed by me. I will stop the unnecessary communications. I’ll give the space and time you need just to have a fresh air to breathe and hopefully to forget the past you had with me.

I know this is a big gamble for me because maybe things will not favor with us as time passes by, but I have to do this just to let you know how really sorry I am for hurting you and I want you to see me someday as a trust worthy individual and as a man you could spend for the rest of your life.

If you need me for something, if you need help for anything, I’m still here. I can give you all the help you need. Just take care of yourself always. Please don’t skip meals. Don’t over stress yourself from work.

I just want you to be happy. Again, I’m sincerely sorry for what happen. I will always love you from the bottom of my heart.

Take care,
Moeh