Before I met you, I strongly believed that it was almost impossible to find a gentle man. someone that puts me first in everything, shares everything and wants to go all out to make sure i’m comfortable. you promised me everything John, everything. I was so sure that I would go places I would never have imagined with you by my side. There was never a dull moment with you and it showed on my face how happy I was with you cause my friends could see the sudden glow.
This is why I jumped right into a relationship with you barely more than one week after meeting you. I forgot about playing the wait game just to be sure about you and most of all, I forgot you were human. you just seem so perfect to me, void of any flaws. everyone around me loved you as much as i did.
then you started showing your true colours John, you subtly played with my head because you were so good with your words, you never really cared when we had an argument…I was always the one to call and talk about it, you put pressure on me to have sex even when I didn’t want to. you even promised me that you would wait but then you always gave me a weekly reminder about how you were eager to have sex with me by telling me to get birth control pills. you would also make me feel low by constantly telling me that you had other girls you could fuck with and complained about my body proportions and finally (which is the reason why you broke up with me) was that you subjected me to disgusting sexual acts. You couldn’t even do half of what you subjected me to do…but I did it to please you. the one day that I stood up for myself concerning that issue, you left me.
you controlled how I went out, who i went to see, what I wore and I let you because I genuinely loved you. this all happened in less than a month.
I’m a little happy this ended because it’s a lot of weight off my shoulder but at the same i’m sad because I never really expected this from you. I never believed we would break up because of that. For someone who says he loves me constantly, that was such a blow to me. I did everything to make you happy, anything within my reach and you walk away because I politely stood up for myself when you subjected me to a demeaning sexual act.
above all, i’m happy i met you, i’m happy our paths crossed, i’m happy for all the times we spent because i wouldn’t trade them for anything and I wish you nothing but happiness as you go on with life.
Despite what happened, I still genuinely love you so much and I know time would heal all wounds 🙂