It has been over 7 years since we married. It has been over 7 years since I started my downfall into the monster I am today.

I failed to see the amazing woman I had by my side. You were by my side all of the time, and all you needed was for me to care, listen to you and have your back. You gave up years of your time for my dreams and wishes. And I was absent, I was a pile of flesh and bones (and fur) without any kind of feeling or emotion. There is one feeling that was there all of the time: your love for me. Love that I could not see and failed to acknowledge. What kind of idiot does that? I mean, seriously. For that I say to you (although you possibly will never see this), I am sincerely sorry for the man I was and am struggling to not be and I thank you for all of your love and time. I am sorry for not making it in time and realising who I was despite your warnings. I don’t wish I told you I love you, because I did that every day. I wish I’d shown you. I truly believe your life will improve starting next week, after I leave back for Madrid. You are a great person, you deserve the best. I honestly hope you do get everything you want in life. I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to the expectations to be in that package.

In fact, your ultimate teaching was leaving me. It made me realise how horrible of a person one can grow to be and still fail to see that one is. I really wished that I could help undo all the wrongs that I caused in your life and repay you for your love and time. This is the main reason I wanted one more chance. Just to make it fair for you. I certainly feel pain for losing you. Huge pain. But, my greatest hurt is what happened to you. I deeply regret everything.

Please be happy. I still love you, and possibly will forever.