An apology to my abusive ex

An apology to my abusive ex

An apology to my abusive ex

LTME postWe spent two years together and for 18 months of it, you made my life hell huh. Why? I know you have mental health issues but I just wanted to help. I really did. You left me with many gifts (you were very generous) so I want to thank you for them after all these years.
Thank you for leaving me with a raging ice addiction at the age of 20 – I overcame that, and it brought me closer to my parents who you tried so hard to alienate from my life. 🙂 Thank you for leaving me broke and in debt – I didn’t know what or how to get myself into debt. I was 20. But you did, and you drained me. You left me with no money – another gift I loved. I learned how to make things myself, how to do things and the signs of someone who’s into you for your money.
Thank you for making me so ill one week by hiding my insulin I was in ICU. You left me with severe neuropathy of my stomach and bowel and also problems I’m dealing with into my adulthood and it’s made me TOUGH! 🙂 Thank you for telling me I wasn’t worth anybody’s time and leaving me with huge self esteem issues. When I finally found someone who wanted my time and was into me, it made the whole thing so much sweeter.
Thank you for always lying to me – I know what to look for now.
Thank you for leaving me with trust issues – it’s a heavy relief on my body to finally trust the person I love fully.
Thank you for reminding me how stupid I am and leaving me with crippling self doubt – when I finally graduated Uni (which you tried so hard to stop) I felt like slitting your throat with my certificate.
Thank you for leaving me hyper vigilant – someone tried to mug me last year and I spotted him a mile away. He gave chase and I got into my car. I knew he was going to do that.
Thank you for leaving me empty as a person – you took away everything I held sacred such as my art, friends, family, music, interests and hobbies, everything. I re built myself from it – a little old, a little new and somewhat better than the person I was when I was with you.

Most of all, Brendon, thank you for showing me that you can’t help everyone. I believed EVERYONE had a good side, stupid me lol. You were plain evil. You hurt me a lot. Your abusive tirades broke me but I re built myself. I have avoided some people based on instinct and intuition and one of them is now sitting in jail for bashing his girlfriend. I dodged so many bullets because you helped me.

No ones pointed a gun at me since you though.

Xx Olivia

2 Comments

  1. S 4 years ago

    Rock on, Olivia. This letter is EXTRAORDINARY – one of the best I’ve read. Thank YOU for writing it so well.

    I’m trying to get over an ex, but I cannot come up with one ounce of gratitude.

    Knowing you can spin your horrible situation as you did – it just blew me away. You give me hope.

    I’m lost, hurt, and angry. My ex wasn’t even abusive – he was a drug addict and egomaniac, but mostly kind and often supportive. Maybe I just hate him for rejecting me. I don’t know.

    Anyway – just wanted to thank you for writing this stunning letter.

    Good luck in your future.

    S

  2. Anonymous 4 weeks ago

    I hope you’re better now, I’m going through a similar situation and finding the courage to leave. Stay strong xx

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